Page 138 of Their Famous Dominant (Office Intrigue Duet 4)
“And so we’re clear, I want you in every way a man can want a woman. But I need to find you beneath all those fucking lessons you’ve learned, beneath all the rules you’ve managed to surround yourself with. I don’t want Clarissa the doll. I want Clarissa the beautiful submissive I know you are.”
“I want that, too,” she said on another sob. “But I need to tell you something first.”
My back straightened, fear curling through my gut.
“You know how you slipped out of bed both times I spent the night with you?”
I nodded my acknowledgement.
“I should’ve told you at the time … it hurts me to wake up and not have you there. I feel insecure, uncertain. I’m not sure I can deal with that.”
I swallowed hard as the fear uncurled, morphing into something else. Guilt, maybe. I hadn’t meant to hurt her like that. I wasn’t the cuddling sort. I didn’t stay in bed when there were things to do. And there were always things to do. But I’d never thought about how that would affect the ones I cared about.
My eyes shot to Troy momentarily. He looked wary.
Great. And he’d felt the same way. As though I was abandoning them.
“I’m sorry,” I told her, cupping her face. “I never meant to hurt you. But you have to tell me those things. I’m not always the most astute when it comes to … relationships.”
She smiled, another tear slipping down her smooth cheek. “I promise, going forward I’ll tell you.”
If she was willing to trust me, I knew I had to do the same. “Then, if you’re willing to start over, so am I. Is that what you want?”
She didn’t answer, but she didn’t look away. I could see the wheels turning in her head. She was plotting something and that worried me.
I dropped my hands from her face. “Answer me, sunshine. Right now.”
“Yes. I want that. I want to start over.” Her words came out rushed. “I want a second chance.” She swallowed hard. “But I need something from you first.”
My breath lodged in my throat and anger threatened. I should’ve known she needed something from me. That was why everyone sought me out. They always needed something.
“What?” I asked. “What do you need?”
She firmly held my gaze. “Your punishment, Master. In order to make this right, that’s what I need.”
I hadn’t expected that. Not even a little. For the first time since she’d walked out, something inside me eased.
“You’ve certainly earned it. And after that, we’ll start over. Everything behind us.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Good. While I get my bag, I want you to undress and kneel by the door. Wait for me to return.”
With that, I turned and walked out of the room. I needed to compose myself. Otherwise, I would simply go to my knees and Clarissa would never get what she needed from me.
*
As I fought to catch my breath, I stared at the man in the bathroom mirror. I was still trying to wrap my head around what had transpired in the past few minutes.
Clarissa had come here. She had taken the first step to righting this and I needed to come through for her. I had to be the Dom she needed because this was a fucking breakthrough.
For the first time since I’d met Clarissa all those years ago, I felt as though that outer shield she kept firmly in place had cracked. It would take time and effort to get the damn thing to deteriorate completely, but this gave me hope.
The fact that she’d showed up unannounced gave me hope. I’d spent the past nine days avoiding all contact with her, but it had damn near killed me. While I had immersed myself in work, it had been damn hard not to let my thoughts stray to her. I had come to terms with how I felt about her, but in an effort to protect myself, I’d refused to give in. Truth was, I had needed her to make the first move.
When I finally composed myself, I carried my toy bag into the living room and set it on the coffee table, my eyes trailing over the naked submissive kneeling so perfectly.
“Troy, please get my paddle out of my kit,” I instructed as I placed my hand on Clarissa’s bowed head. “Please stand, sunshine.”
I took her hand and helped her to her feet, then led her over to the sofa. “I want you across my lap.” I met her gaze. “If this is a hard limit for you, I need you to speak up now. Otherwise, you know your safe word should you need to use it.”
“It’s not a hard limit,” she whispered, a soft smile curling her lips. “I filled out a limit list for you. It’s in my bag. I can get it if you’d like.”
