At one point, I’d thought perhaps Simone could learn to be what I needed, only I’d never really thought about the logistics. For whatever reason, the idea of a female dominating me did absolutely nothing for me. I’d known that from the beginning. We endured three and a half years before we’d both decided it wouldn’t work.
Yet until I met Mr. Parker, I didn’t truly understand what my options were. He was the only man I’d ever been with. The only man I would ever be with.
Like him, I remembered the night I met him like it was yesterday. It was my first time in a BDSM club and I’d ventured there to sate my own curiosity. I had presented myself as a Dom, knowing to some extent that I was one. However, as soon as we’d been introduced, I’d felt an overwhelming need to submit. It took a solid year before I’d entrusted him with my care.
I hadn’t looked back since.
“When I’m finished enjoying the show, I want you to go into the bedroom, pull the blankets off the bed, and lie on it. On your back. I want you to stroke that beautiful cock until I join you. But don’t you dare come.”
“Anything you want, Mr. Parker,” I told him, sincere in my statement.
“Tonight, you’re mine to play with. Any way that I see fit. And your orgasm belongs to me.”
“Of course, Mr. Parker.” I had no limits where he was concerned.
None whatsoever.
Back in the beginning, I’d had some. Quite a few, actually. But as the years passed, I had modified my list until there was nothing left. I wanted him to know that I gave myself to him, that I entrusted him with all that I was, all that I ever would be. I needed that from him and he knew that.
His eyes remained locked on my hand fisting my cock. He seemed quite content to remain like that. Personally, it wasn’t a hardship. Simply having his full attention was enough to make my dick rigid and eager, my ass clench with the need to be filled by him.
“All right.” He huffed out a breath. “Now go do as I instructed.”
“Yes, Mr. Parker.”
While I went into the bedroom, I heard him moving around in the living room. I was sure he was fixing himself another drink, probably wanting to take some of the edge off. Believe it or not, Mr. Parker had a fear of being too rough with me. It didn’t matter that I was only a couple of inches shorter than him, and maybe ten pounds lighter. If we were to spar, I would likely win with strength alone. Yet he still worried that he would hurt me.
That wasn’t something I worried about. I enjoyed the man when he lost control, when he proved with his lack of restraint how he needed me as much as I needed him.
Regardless, I didn’t give his absence a second thought. He had asked something of me and that was my only focus. I wanted to please him, to give him exactly what he wanted because that was what I lived for. Justin Parker owned me, heart, body, and soul. I’d long ago accepted that I would do anything he asked of me.
As for my need to dominate…
That inner desire didn’t come into play when it came to Mr. Parker. Where he was concerned, I wanted him to dominate me. And in turn, I wanted to find a willing submissive who could somehow complete this open-ended circle. A woman we could both top, but one who understood where I stood in the grand scheme of things.
I’d learned over the years that some women couldn’t wrap their head around my need to have Mr. Parker command me to my knees or to fuck me into oblivion or to paddle my ass until I came. They didn’t grasp how I could be turned on by role playing with a man who had a deviously kinky imagination. But I lived for it. And eventually, I knew we would find a woman who fit.
Perhaps that woman was Addison.
Perhaps not.
But right here, right now, that no longer mattered. The only thing I was compelled to do was to give Mr. Parker what he needed. And in turn, he would meet my needs, as well. It was as simple and as complicated as that.
I didn’t know how much time passed from when I came into my bedroom and did as Mr. Parker instructed to when he finally appeared in the doorway. Nor did I care. It wasn’t my place to demand his presence. I saved my own need to dominate for when he allowed it. Oddly enough, that also worked for me. It had taken us some time to figure out how to make this alternative relationship work considering there were times I needed more than to submit to him. That was likely the main reason we’d enjoyed our time with Luci. She had been exactly what we were looking for. At the time.
