Son of a bitch. She was right and I couldn’t deny it.
“So, why didn’t you confront me?” I asked.
Her eyebrows shot downward. “Me? Why didn’t you confront him? Yes. I’m at fault for what I did, but I did it because I wanted the two of you to stop playing games.”
“It worked.”
“I’m well aware of that. And I fucked up, all right? I overstepped and now I find myself on the outside looking in. I wish like hell I could take it all back. I would go back to being whatever you wanted me to be, just as long as I could have the two of you.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and again, she looked horrified.
“I didn’t intentionally put you in the middle,” I told her, my voice lowering. “But you’re right. I did. However, when you have something on your mind, you have to speak up. Like I said, I can’t read your mind.”
She stared at me blankly and I could tell she was emotionally retreating, something she was probably used to getting away with. I already had one of those people in my life; I damn sure didn’t need another.
“Mr. Parker and I have learned to work through our differences,” I explained. “We’ve been together for years. It takes time to build that sort of trust,” I told her. “But you’re the one who changed the dynamic. And because of that stipulation, we have to take you seriously. We have every intention of abiding by your rules. Especially here in the office. Which means I can’t do anything about it until you decide if you want something more.”
“I do!” she exclaimed.
“You do what?”
“I want something more.”
Now we were getting somewhere. “Then tell me what you want.”
She didn’t say a word and I watched as she moved closer to my desk.
It was in that moment that I knew this thing between us was about to change again.
And I was fucking ready and waiting.
Forty-Three
ADDISON
I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what had come over me, but I was tired of pretending that I didn’t want them with my whole heart.
This was what I wanted.
I wanted Ben to confront me, to give me the opportunity to explain in the simplest form exactly what I needed.
Perhaps I was biting off more than I could chew or, as I was prone to do, getting ahead of myself, but I couldn’t seem to stop. He was right, I had told him that day that whatever he had in mind better pertain to business, or I wanted no part of it. I was pissed at the time. I’d said shit I didn’t mean. It bothered me that they continued to hold it over my head.
I thought we’d gotten past it. Clearly, I was wrong. But more than anything, someone had to put a stop to this. If they weren’t willing to acknowledge we were all at fault in some way, then I was going to do it. I wanted to move forward. To forget that day, to pretend it never happened.
I wanted to be with them.
I wanted to love them, to show them that I was the third piece to their little puzzle. That I fit with them.
And I wanted them to love me.
Because I knew that these two men could give me everything I’d ever been missing in my life. In fact, they had. In the short time we’d spent together, I had finally found true happiness with two Doms who meant the world to me.
They weren’t like Josh. They weren’t imitations. They were the real thing and I needed that more than I needed anything else. I’d spent so much time watching them, wanting them, getting to know them, and yes, falling for them. And there had been a few rare moments when I thought they’d felt something for me, too.
Granted, it hadn’t helped that I had spent the past month and a half subjected to Luci, Landon, and Langston and the relationship they shared. Yeah. So I had watched them when they were intimate. So what? That wasn’t what mattered. I saw the way they interacted with one another, the love that was so obvious it practically smacked you in the face when you were around them.
And I wanted exactly what Luci had.
There. I said it.
I wanted Mr. Parker and Mr. Snowden to claim me as their submissive. For always. I wanted to spend the rest of my life referring to them as Mr. Parker and Mr. Snowden to anyone I talked to. And I wanted those titles to mean something to them.
The relationship that Luci had with Landon and Langston was what I wanted. Sure, it made me selfish to think I could have something that deep and fulfilling so soon, but so what? I wanted it and the only way I knew to get it was to push for it.
