If only the afternoon would get here faster so I could have something to do.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t happening, which left me plenty of time to twiddle my thumbs and think. About everything.
Mr. Snowden.
Mr. Parker.
My reaction to the two of them.
My ever-growing needs.
All the things they’d done to me over the course of the past month.
All the things I’d done to them.
God, I missed them.
Along with those delightful mental images, I was also pondering how I could make up for what had happened. Not because I wanted them to want me. I couldn’t change that. If they truly were finished with me, then I would have to accept it. However, I needed to make amends because it felt like the right thing to do. I had learned my lesson and I was grateful for the teaching opportunity.
Oh, who was I kidding? I could tell myself all day long that I didn’t want them to feel about me the way I felt about them, but I was lying.
I wanted everything.
And I had to find a way to make it right.
Before I went out of my freaking mind.
Forty-Two
JUSTIN
BY THE TIME MONDAY AFTERNOON rolled around, I was thankful the day was finally over. I needed a break. As it was, I had spent most of the weekend in my office working on some information for Ben and Greg. After our lunch meeting last week, I was apt to believe that our most recent hire was going to take this company to an entirely new level.
While he hadn’t yet come on board officially, it was only a matter of time. Greg had given notice with his current employer and they had asked him to stay on for a few additional weeks to train his replacement. That was understandable considering his position. No way was I going to nitpick over timing.
And it seemed he was pulling double duty. Greg had already started coming up with ideas and passing them along to Ben. In an effort to help, I had offered to put together a few proposals for some of Ben’s clients based on Greg’s ideas.
If only I could focus for longer than five minutes at a time, I’d be doing well. But my mind continued to drift. This thing between Ben, Addison, and me was wearing me thin. I needed to get things back on track, but I hadn’t figured out how. I thought for sure after the scene at the club, Ben would’ve forgiven Addison, but something was still bothering him.
My conscience told me that Ben’s issue wasn’t necessarily with Addison, but more so with me and the way I had reacted. After all, I had been the one to set this particular road block in motion. I was the one who ran from the feelings they were stirring inside me. I needed to atone, to make things right.
A knock on my door had me looking up from the computer screen I’d been zoned out on. “Come in.”
The door opened and Langston’s head appeared. “Got a minute?”
“Sure.” I pushed my computer back.
Langston took a seat, his eyes never leaving me. It didn’t take a genius to realize that this conversation wasn’t going to be work related. I probably should’ve lied and told him I had shit to do, but I couldn’t.
“I hear things are a little…strained around here.”
Strained was certainly one way to put it. Leaning back in my chair, I took a deep breath. “Things have gotten a little out of hand.”
I figured for sure he was going to give me the I told you so speech, but he surprised me. “Relationships aren’t always easy,” he noted. “Hell, even vanilla people have problems.” He grinned. “Figure in the whole D/s thing and it adds a whole ’nother level.”
That was for damn sure.
Langston continued with an even wider grin. “Put three people in the mix and it’s a wonder we’re not all locked in a padded cell.”
“God, isn’t that the truth,” I huffed.
“I heard Ben and Addison had a falling-out.”
“They did.” I wasn’t usually one to share my personal life with others, but for some reason, I welcomed this conversation.
“I can tell Addison’s taking it hard,” he added.
I nodded. “She is. She probably thought the same thing I did, that after her apology, Ben would forgive her.”
“He didn’t?”
“Not that I can tell.” I sighed. “Probably didn’t help that his grandmother fell over the weekend and ended up in the emergency room.”
“She all right?”
“Yeah. The two of us met the ambulance at the hospital. I stayed until they assured us there was nothing broken. Then Ben spent all day Sunday with her.”
“She live alone?”
“Yes. The woman—God love her—is nothing if not stubborn. And at ninety-two, that makes it all the more difficult because she’s used to doing things her way.”
“He can hire someone to help her.”
“Oh, he did. Took some arguing, but she finally relented.”
