Hopefully.
•
I didn’t know how long I’d slept, but when I opened my eyes, it was dark outside. I squinted to see the clock. It was already eight.
Apparently I was tired.
A sudden pounding on my front door had me jerking upright. I wondered if that was what had woken me in the first place. I took a deep breath and decided to ignore it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. It didn’t even matter who it was. I wanted to be alone.
More pounding.
My phone buzzed on my nightstand.
Master: You have two seconds to open this goddamn door or I will break it down. Don’t test me, pet.
I jumped to my feet and rushed to the door. I knew Master was not bluffing and the last thing I needed was for Mrs. Idlemann to call the cops. She was probably already peeking out into the hall from the commotion.
“What do you want?” I snapped when I jerked the door open.
Master walked in, pushing right past me. He closed the door behind him, then pivoted to look at me.
“What the hell is going on?” His tone was tinged with real anger.
“Nothing,” I lied. “I had an appointment. I told you that.”
“Where was the appointment?”
“What?”
“The appointment, Luciana. Where was it?”
Shit. I hadn’t thought that far in advance. I probably should’ve thought it through, but I’d been too emotional to come up with a lie that would make sense.
“It’s none of your business,” I barked, spinning away from him.
Before I could make it two feet, Master grabbed my arm and spun me back to face him. Tears flooded my eyes and no matter how hard I tried to hold them back, they wouldn’t stay.
When he cupped my cheek with his hand, that was my undoing. I sobbed uncontrollably and shoved my face into his chest, needing his strength, even if only for a minute. This wasn’t fair. Not to him, not to me. But I couldn’t seem to stop.
We stood there for several minutes while I cried. I tried numerous times to pull myself together but it didn’t work. The next thing I knew, Master was guiding me out of the kitchen and into my bedroom.
“What are you doing?” I asked between hiccupping sobs.
He didn’t answer, simply undressed both of us before dragging me into the bed with him.
When he pulled me against him, I tried to get away, but he merely banded his arms around me, spooning me from behind.
“Shh,” he whispered. “I’ve got you, Luci. And I’m not letting you go.”
I finally gave up trying to put space between us and I let my tears fall. I was grateful he didn’t ask questions. At least at first. I didn’t get lucky enough that he would hold off forever though.
“Talk to me, pet,” he finally probed when my tears dried up.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
His words were rough when he spoke. “A lie will get your little ass reddened. Is that what you need?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what I need.”
It was true. I had no freaking clue what it was that I needed. Or even what I wanted, for that matter. I was confused and saddened by the way things were going.
“Did something happen with Justin?”
“No,” I admitted. I definitely didn’t want him to think that Justin had done anything wrong, because he hadn’t. At least not on purpose, I didn’t think. “It’s just…I don’t think it’s working out between me and him.”
“How so?”
I shrugged again. “He seems distant. Like he’s purposely keeping me at arm’s length.”
Master sighed, then pressed his lips against the back of my head.
“Justin’s confused,” Master stated.
“About Ben?”
“Yes. Things between them…they’re more serious than they had been.” Master grunted. “He really needs to be telling you this himself.”
I managed to turn over so that I could look at Master’s face. “He doesn’t talk to me. Not about anything. And I thought that was part of how this was done. Being his submissive…I feel as though he doesn’t want me.”
Not surprisingly, Master didn’t respond. I knew he wasn’t the type to interfere in other people’s business.
“I just wanted him to talk to me.”
“Is that why you left today?”
Nodding, I wiped my face with my hand. “He was rude. And I didn’t appreciate the way he dismissed me. As though I was merely an object for the four of you to pass between you.” Just saying the words made more tears form. “I want more than that.”
“From Justin?”
I shook my head. “No. I mean, yes. But not in that way. I want to be friends and I want him to help me explore my desires, but…he’s not the one I want more from.”
I knew I couldn’t elaborate because there was no way I would survive Master walking out of my apartment. He’d been up front about what he didn’t want and I wasn’t about to push him.
