Page 70 of Good Time Boyfriend
“Okay,” I said calmly, though there was nothing calm about me.
“So, yeah. I’ve just been thinking. And, you know, this has been great. The two of us. Really great.”
I nodded, not sure I could actually speak.
“But, I don’t know, after the other night, and the fact that I really haven’t even been home alone much, I don’t know, I think we should take some space.”
Space. I couldn’t even say the word. I couldn’t say anything, there was a sense of foreboding and rage pushing inside me. My palms went sweaty. I was so fucking confused about what was happening. “You need to see the world and be with other people before you settle down. You fell into this with me. I was your lie. And now you need to find a truth, you know? Figure it out.”
He was saying words but they didn’t make sense. As if he were trying to explain to himself what he was doing, and why he was making these decisions, and yet all I wanted to do was yell at him and ask what the hell he was doing and why he thought this was a good idea.
It felt as if the world was crumbling beneath me.
“Are you kidding me?” I asked, staring up at him.
“Devney, you deserve the world. You deserve someone who actually knows what the fuck he’s doing.”
“You don’t know what you’re doing right now, that is clear.”
“Devney.”
“Don’t talk to me in that tone. You’re breaking things off because you’re scared? Because of your parents? You’re not your father, and you’re not your mother. You know that.”
“You know where I come from. You have this huge family that cares about you, who are always up in your business because they love you. You deserve that. You deserve someone that’s going to mesh with them. You don’t need my fucked-up family.”
“So, you’re telling me your brothers and sister are fucked up?”
“Greer’s finally found something, and hopefully it’ll work, but my brothers? You don’t know what Luca’s been through, and it’s not my place to say, and August? He was fucking married to your boss and we don’t even talk about it. Of course, we’re fucked up. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Too fucking late.”
His eyes widened at my use of profanity, since I didn’t curse as much as he did.
“What? You’re surprised that I’m fighting back? You’re walking out on this because you’re scared. Because you’re afraid that you’re what, going to fall in love with me and then we’ll fall apart like your parents did? I am sorry for the shitty things they did. They are terrible parents that didn’t deserve you. You guys would’ve been better off with the four of you alone, without them. I know that, and I hope you do too. But you are not them. Don’t break this off because you’re scared.”
“Devney.” He let out a deep breath. “There’s nothing to break off. We were your practice run. Remember? I was your good time. The guy to stand in so you could have a moment to breathe and your family wouldn’t set you up on dates. I did that. And you stood up to your family. So, you don’t need me anymore.”
“That’s a lie,” I whispered, tears streaming down my face. I hated that I was crying, I wanted to stop. He couldn’t see this. I was fighting for him, but he wasn’t fighting for me.
“I’m just going to hurt you. That’s what we do.”
And then he walked out, closing the door behind him. I just stared, wondering what the hell happened.
He wanted me to be with other people. He wanted me to find someone better than him.
Only, I had done the stupid thing. I believed in the lie. I had fallen for him.
And I was wrong. He might be scared, but if he loved me, he wouldn’t have walked away.
I hadn’t realized that being wrong could hurt so much.
I fell to my knees and cried, and just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
Chapter 17
Devney
Somehow, I made it through work the next day. Paisley was in meetings all day, and I ignored texts from Addison. All I did was work, put on a bright smile, and hoped the concealer hid the dark shadows under my eyes.
