Page 148 of Studs Up
“And if I hear one fucking word about you winning today, I swear to god, Holden, I will do nasty things to you.” I turned neon red right there in front of everyone. That was the Nolan I loved. He was right there, and my dickhead lips smiled. He grunted and rolled his eyes.
He caressed the back of my hand with his thumb and then dropped it, backing away so the Rovers could pummel me into the ground. I hardly felt it. I couldn’t hear their screams of joy. The only thing I heard were the echoes of Nolan saying he was taking me home.
He wasn’t going anywhere. He loved me. I hadn’t lost him because he was strong enough for both of us. But oh god, what would he do when he found out about the cameras?
Nolan
Watching the Rovers step up and accept their cup was pretty painful.
There was this really mean thing that the league made us do when a team lost a final. They made us wait around to accept our ‘not good enough’ medals and then made us watch them lift the cup and celebrate in our own fucking stadium. The fans had cleared out pretty quickly, and the away fans were screaming from their corner.
But when Holden stepped up to take the trophy, I couldn’t help but swell with pride. What he had to overcome just to stand there was unimaginable. His eyes connected with mine for a second just before he threw up the cup.
And then, I was done and stalked back to the locker room.
Coach gave us a speech about how we all tried hard, and it was a tough loss, blah blah blah. We had a great season, and we’d get them next year, blah blah blah. We got the time off, and he gave us a date to return to training, but I missed it. The only thing on my mind was Holden getting to celebrate. He deserved it, but the competitor in me was pretty pissed.
It didn’t change anything, and things were going ahead as planned.
When Coach was done, they let the press in to do some rounds of questions before they got ready for the big one with the winners of the Western Conference final. The energy was low, and everyone could hear everyone else.
Several reporters from both fandoms surrounded me, asking questions. Most of my answers were grunts and eye rolls. I wanted this over with so I could go home and wait for Holden to finish celebrating.
“What do you think you could have done differently to get the win tonight?” A young guy with a phone in my face asked. I had no idea who the kid was, and it was a pretty audacious question to ask me, of all fucking people. My first answer was to score more goals than the other team. But Alice was lurking.
“It was a well fought game,” I said, choosing diplomacy. “I think we’ll have to go to the tapes and look at the gaps in our play and learn for next year.” I knew exactly where the gaps were. Coach and I were going to have a serious fucking talk about the left back position because I just couldn’t do it anymore, and I had no fucking clue how Marcel was still on a professional fucking team when he couldn’t do his fucking job.
Finally, they ushered themselves out, and it was just the team, quietly listening to the celebration that had somehow permeated through thick concrete walls.
I dropped in my cubby and leaned back. I wanted to get the fuck out of here. Holden hadn’t unblocked me, so I sent him an email letting him know where to find me and to call when he was ready.
I grabbed my shoes and put them on one at a time, and it took a lot more effort than it should have.
Diaz tapped my knee. “Hey, we’re gonna pity party at Quinn’s. Maybe take home some ladies. Coming?”
I shook my head as I tied my shoes.
“Naw, I’m already taking someone home,” I was too tired to care about anything else.
“You have a girlfriend?” Diaz asked with a surprised eyebrow. “Jesus, I don’t remember the last time you had a woman.”
“I don’t think he’d like being called a woman,” I said. The room fell silent slowly as my words settled. I tied my shoes like nothing was wrong.
“He?” Cruz said.
“Yeah,” I sat up and leaned into my cubby. I had done it. The cat was out of the bag for Holden. I might as well get it over with for me. I didn’t want to blindside everyone with a double dose of my personal life, one step at a time. So, yeah, I walked right out of the closet I had no idea I had been in.
“He like boyfriend, he?”
While I didn’t think boyfriend quite described it, I nodded.
“Seriously?” Quinn asked with an air of, huh, who’da thought.
“Yeah,” I said again. “Anyone got a problem with that?”
“No,” Quinn said. “Just kinda surprised. But now that I think about it, not really.”
“You and me both,” I muttered. The moment passed, and I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath.No one made a comment or passed judgment. So there it was. I was out, and Holden wasn’t alone. Maybe I’d go find Alice and tell her I wanted to release a statement. I had time to kill, after all.
