Page 115 of Studs Up
“But then you sneak back to the hotel room and fuck all night?”
Well, yes, but I didn’t say it.
“Alex,” I pressed my palms to my eyes and leaned forward. “He’s not going anywhere. Can we please find some common ground here?”
I got up and paced away. Something had to give somewhere. Everything was bending to its breaking point, and it was a gamble on what was going to snap first. Alex, Nolan, or me.
“He’s not going anywhere? Like this is a real relationship, or his dick is just that good?” He crossed his arms.
“Honestly,” I turned to him and shoved my hands into my pockets. “Both.” He scoffed and grumbled.
“The Nolan you know only exists in soccer.”
“And?”
“And outside of that,” I shrugged. “He’s different.”
He snorted and sat back, then got even more irritated and sat forward.
It was late enough on a week night that the boardwalk wasn’t busy. There were some dog walkers and kids with headphones walking down the paths with their eyes locked on their phones. No one was paying attention to us.
“Nolan Reed,” He grunted. “Seriously? How the fuck did that happen?”
He got up, and we walked.
I shrugged.
“Just kind of did,” I said.
“So he’s gay?” Disbelief etched in his voice.
I shrugged again.
“He doesn’t know, and I don’t think he cares enough to figure it out.”
“What if he stops liking whatever it is you’re doing?” The question was as pointed as a spear through my heart.
“Then he stops, I guess.” I didn’t like thinking about that possibility. I didn’t want to think about any kind of future without Nolan in it. I let myself believe in the fantasy of a happily ever after.
“And crushes you along the way.” The bitter tone was heartwarming and devastating. Alex cared for me, and I loved that. But the thought of being crushed by Nolan was almost worse than the blackmail.
I stopped and looked at him.
“I can see it,” Alex said. “You’re in deep. You’re in love with him.”
“You saw us once, for like what? Three minutes?”
“Yeah, and it was fucking obvious in those three minutes. You’re in love with him.”
I stopped again. Obvious. Was that how they found out? Were we not being as careful as we needed to be? Palpitations forced the air out of my lungs. Alex didn’t seem to notice and kept going.
“Is he in love with you?”
“We haven’t said it yet,” I said. But it was there.
“Fuck,” Alex groaned. “And he’s good to you?”
Now, I definitely couldn’t keep the grin off my face.
