Page 53 of Unwrapped
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
We opted to head back to her place instead of getting a room at Hotel Polaris. This way, we can relax in bed together on Christmas morning, without having to worry about checkout times. I’m going to make French toast for breakfast and spend the whole day making love to her. Excitement courses through my body. I’m not sure how I managed to avoid getting a speeding ticket on our way here.
“Let me fill their dishes, and then I’m all yours.” She rushes into the kitchen. The crinkle of a food bag sends all three cats scurrying after her.
I wait in the living room, admiring her Christmas tree. Ninety percent of the ornaments are cat themed, of course. Smiling, I brush my fingertips over a hand painted tuxedo cat family. The largest one has “Mom” across its belly, and the kittens each bear one of the cat’s names.
Visions of Camille as a mother flood my mind. She would be nurturing, that’s for sure. Unlike my mom, she wouldn’t pick favorites. She’d love each child equally and make sure they knew their worth. She’d celebrate everyone’s uniqueness and embrace the quirks that set them apart. No one would ever have to wonder if they mattered. Or whether or not they were special.
I’ve never given much thought to fatherhood, but I’d love nothing more than to start a family with Camille.
She approaches from behind. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a bit of a cat lady.”
I meet her gaze. “I think it’s cute.”
“Your brother hated it. He’d never let me have a cat because he was allergic. That’s why I got three of them once we split.”
“He’s only allergic to bees. We had cats growing up, and he never had an issue.”
“Oh, I know. He just wanted my full attention.”
“Sounds like Ryan.” I tilt her chin to face me. “I want your attention too, Camille. The difference is, even if you want to feed an entire colony of feral cats and become an international kitten ambassador, I’ll support you every step of the way. You will always havemyfull attention.” I brush my thumb over her lower lip. “I will never stop believing in you. I’ll always encourage your endeavors—yes, even the nutty ones—because it makes me happy to see you excited about something.”
“Thank you,” she whispers, peering up into my eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.” I kiss her lips softly. “I willneverstop loving you.” I guide her over to the couch and motion for her to sit. Settling beside her, I take both of her hands in mine. “This is long overdue, but there’s something I need you to hear.”
“What’s up?”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since last Sunday, and I’ve learned a few harsh truths about myself. Things I’m not proud of.”
“Like what?”
“Well, for starters, I’ve realized I need help dealing with some shit from my childhood. I don’t want to make excuses for my shitty behavior, but my history of bending to my family’s demands started at birth. I’ve nevernotput myself last, and I really don’t know how to change that. There’s a lot I need to work through.” I brush my thumbs over her knuckles. “I want you to know I’m going to put in the effort to figure myself out, and I’m prepared to find a professional who can help me navigate it all.”
Camille listens intently, her brilliant green gaze pinned to mine as she waits for me to continue.
I draw a steadying breath. “I allowed my history to dictate my actions, and in doing so, I hurt you. Not only did my initial rejection cause you pain, but my inaction when Ryan swooped in to steal you away made matters even worse. I gave you the impression you didn’t matter to me when that couldn’t have been further from the truth. IknowI should have fought for you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting my stupidity. My cowardice. I could have spared both of us years of unhappiness.” My eyes mist over. “Most of all, I’m sorry I allowed him to hurt you.”
She squeezes my hands. “His actions are on him, Dean. You didn’t tell him to cheat.”
“No, but it wouldn’t have happened if I had the balls to go after you first.” I blink back the tear that wants to escape.
“I understand what you’re saying, and I appreciate the sentiment, but you aren’t responsible for what he did. Ryan is the one who betrayed me. I have never blamed you for the pain he caused. You also shouldn’t hold yourself accountable for myactions.”
“What do you mean?”
“I could have resisted his advances, but I allowed my hurt and embarrassment to cloud my judgment.” She peers up at me. “I’m equally at fault.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree, sweetheart.” I lift her hands to my lips. “Please forgive me for the pain I’ve caused you.” I kiss her knuckles, then press her hands to my chest, holding them over my heart. “I love you, Camille. I promise I’m going to work on myself, so I can be the kind of man you deserve. I can’t guarantee perfection, but I’ll figure out how to make lasting changes. I’m willing to fight for you—for us—with everything I am. Please give me a chance.”
Tears shine in her eyes. “I don’t want perfection, I wantyou.”
“Does that mean you accept my apology?”
“Yes.” She moves our joined hands over her heart. “I promise to stand by your side while you figure things out. I will love and support you, even when shit gets hard.” She flashes a sexy smile. “Especiallywhen it getshard.”
“Who’s the pervert now?” I laugh and hug her, kissing the top of her head.
