Page 40 of Unwrapped
Lena gives me a wave and eases the car down the driveway. My vision blurs, watching them leave. I’m not a crier, but warm tears spill over and dampen my cheeks out of spite.
Soon, the taillights disappear from view, and I’m alone.
Just like always.
Mood Music: “No Light, No Light” by Florence + The Machine
Lena squeezes my hand tighter. “I know you’re hurting right now, but I’m proud of you for standing your ground instead of settling.”
“Thanks.” Tears stream down my cheeks as I stare at the scenery whizzing past me. We’ve been on the road an hour, and I’ve already used all the napkins in my glovebox. “It’s like you said, there has to be more than what goes on in the bedroom. I need a commitment, not a vague ‘we’ll figure it out.’ I don’t want to invest my time in something that will only break my heart. More than that, I want a man who’s willing to fight for me.”
“I can’t believe he let you walk away.”
“I can. He’s done it before.” My heart cracked down the center when Dean stood there, content to say his goodbyes like what we shared didn’t matter. I know I was the one who initiated our split, but it would have been nice to feel like I was important to him. “He clearly hasn’t changed much since college. His loyalty to Ryan will always take precedence—as it should, I guess—but I can’t live like that. It’s not healthy for me to be around Ryan’s narcissism. I dealt with it for eight years.”
“When Jude brought up the wedding earlier, I kept hoping Dean would stake his claim.” She sighs. “I feel like he really wanted to.”
“I’m sure he did, but his wants have never been his priority. He’s more concerned with keeping the peace.” Dean may have a big dick, but he’s proven he has no backbone. I squeeze my eyes shut. “I get the loyalty aspect, but it’s not like I asked him to divulge Ryan’s darkest secrets on live television, you know? All I wanted was a fucking date.” I glance over at her. “Someone to dance with.”
Moral support for when I have to face the man who hurt me for the first time in three years.
“I’m sure you’ll have fun with Jude. He seems like a good guy.”
“He is.”
“He’s also really fucking hot, so ...”
I give a watery laugh. “Judeisgorgeous, but I don’t have those kinds of feelings for him.”
She shimmies in her seat. “Maybe his dance moves will make you reconsider.”
“Doubtful.”
“In all seriousness, thank you for letting me tag along this weekend. Your friends are awesome, and I had a great time connecting with them. I can’t wait to go aggravate Sawyer at the pharmacy.”
“I’m gladyougot to spend time with them.”
“Why do you say it like that?”
A sigh heaves from my chest. “I dunno, I guess I’m annoyed with myself for being so hyper-focused on Dean, that I practically ignored everyone else. I mean, Sully is going through a rough patch, and we never had a chance to have our heart-to-heart. I can’t imagine what he’s going through, trying to raise a little girl by himself.”
“Yeah. That’s gotta be hard.”
“Seriously. I want to be there for him.” I blow my nose again. “I also didn’t see any of Jordy’s renovation picturesortalk to Talia about her experience with having pharmacy students at her store for the first time. Not to mention, Hudson is clearly dealing with some shit with the sleepwalking. I feel like an asshole for neglecting my friends because I was too busy having sex.”
“You’re saying you regret sleeping with Dean?”
“Yes and no.” A fresh wave of tears fills my eyes. “It wasby farthe best of my life, but now I know what I’m missing.”
I would have been better off not having a taste of what could have been. Those blissful twenty-four hours were nothing more than a cruel tease. I’m back to where I started, except now I have the pain of knowing how perfect we could be together.
If only he’d chosen me.
“Do you love him?”
“I’ve always loved him, Lena.” A tear escapes. Then another. “But sometimes love isn’t enough.”
Rupert is curled up in my lap, purring softly. Despite what he thinks, the enormous Maine Coon is really too big to be a lap cat. I scratch between his ears. “You feel heavier, dude. Did Jen overfeed you?”
