Page 88 of Cuts like a Knife
Danny slaps his hand on the shutter and I cringe at the sound.
“Open up, lazy bones.” His voice booms, and seems to echo off the surrounding buildings . He’s so loud277.
To my surprise, a man appears, almost immediately. He has a stern look on his face, but at least he doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed. So we haven’t woken him. At least there’s that. He comes around to where we’re standing278.
“Who raised you?” says the man to Danny and for a single second I truly want to die of shame, but then both men burst out laughing and a second later, they’re engaged in a huge hug.
“Good to see you,” says Danny.
“You too, you too. Everything’s ready, I just didn’t open the front. Didn’t want any curious early-bird cruisers poking about. Sit, sit,” he gestures to a grey and worn picnic table. “I’ll be out with the food in a second.”
We arrange ourselves at the table and wait.
“So you arranged all this in advance?” I ask.
“Yup! And you’re in for a treat. John Paul has got an authentic Bahamian breakfast prepared. Not that the food at the hotel isn’t good, but it’s just boring, regular stuff. What’s the point of traveling anywhere if you’re not actually going to experience the place, right?”
“What are we having?” Drew asks.
“Souse. It’s like …” Danny pauses, as he seems to grasp for words.
“Soup,” supplies Maylee. “It will seem weird at first. Like chicken soup for breakfast, but it’s good.”
Secret fraudster couple Maylee Wise and Danny Hughes seek out “authentic” private dining experiences, slam hotel that put them up for free279
Moments later, the man — presumably John Paul — has appeared again, this time bearing a tray, plastic spoons, and five steaming bowls of the souse, which he doles out, one to each of us, with no deference or ceremony.
I’d be annoyed too if some entitled white (or white-presenting in my case) people had forced me to open outside of my regular hours just to serve them.
But then, to my surprise, he sits down with us at the picnic table, grabs a spoon and begins eating from one of the bowls.
I look down at my own helping.
Souse does look like chicken soup. Sort of. It’s got a thin broth, and chunks of what look like chicken, potatoes, and carrots in it. It doesn’t look particularly appetizing, but I remember how wrong was about the boiled fish and resolve to have a few bites.
“Woah!” Drew who is already swallowing his first bite. “It’s got a kick. I like it!”
I take a tentative sip of the broth and am surprised at the intensity. It’s hot, spicy and strangely sour. Like citrus. Lime, maybe? The flavor is just really surprising.
“Sous is celebrated as the ultimate hangover cure,” explains Danny. “That’s why it’s become a breakfast food. JP and I used to house it in vast quantities and I can confirm, it works.”
John Paul is chuckling as he eats.
“Don’t listen to the man,” he laughs. “There wasn’t enough souse in the world to save us. Besides, there are some hangovers that no food can cure.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, confused. “You knew each other before?”
“Oh yeah, JP and I have known each other for years,” says Danny.
My mind clicks through the likeliest explanations280. I shake my head. Unbelievable. And this guy, JP, John Paul, whatever his name is, seems completely happy about it too281. He’s talking about ferrying us somewhere on his boat.
Entitlement Abounds: Maylee Wise and Danny Hughes do Exuma
“Eat up because we do want to get moving before the water taxis start running if you don’t want to cross paths with anybody from the show,” JP’s saying.
I can’t resist, I have to ask some questions282.
“So how did you all meet?” I say. It’s open enough. These chatterboxes are sure to have plenty to say.
