Page 11 of Cuts like a Knife
Her head pops up over the cube wall.
“Why?”
“Just curious.”
“Well, I haven’t, but if I wanted to, I’d probably just ask someone in IT.”
“Do we have more than one someone in IT? Do we have anyone in IT at the moment?” My voice is sarcastic. I can’t help it26.
“We do, but just the one. Young and fresh. In fact, if you need him, let’s call him over here right now!”” Dani’s eyes gleam. She’s such a man-eater, that one. She’s also right. I vaguely remember Lars announcing the new hire at the monthly meeting. I hadn’t really been listening.
“What’s his name again?”
“Zander, I think,” Dani says27.
Okay, it’s coming back to me now. I can picture the kid standing up and giving a little wave in the meeting. And I say kid, because I’m pretty sure he cycles to work and his hair’s always messy. He’s maybe 22, Way too young for Dani. Way too young for me28.
“Stand down, cougar,” I say. “I was just asking.”
This is not quite true, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t imagine asking baby Zander from IT for help with the email I just received. I can’t ask anyone. Besides, if someone knows and they’re going to tell, who really cares who it is?
I’m getting sacked. I need to just … prepare myself for that. Fighting it would be a mistake. It’s a mistake I’ve made before.
No. There’s nothing to do but keep working. Maybe … maybe if I work really hard, even if it does come out, Lars will keep me? I can’t lose this job. I just can’t.
It’s my only play.
Ignoring the apple announcement, I type the last few words of the idiotic taco-man-hearts-ballet-bimbo love story interview onto my screen, rip the bud from my ear, and reach under the pile of junk papers for my cell.
Maybe it’s time to mine my connection to Claire?
My sister’s recent blow up has had Lars and Callum foaming at the mouth, trying to get me to give them some sort of insider access and content about the Madison’s newly-minted star. Claire’s show is doing so well. And she and Adam are a local couple. They’re perfect subjects for Citidaze. Lars would love to feature them in How They Met. Or in a bigger feature. Maybe even on a cover.
So far, I’ve studiously avoided the subject. Citidaze would be a step down for Claire and Adam at this point. They have a huge following online, the show has great ratings, and they’ve have already started being featured in real press outlets. Still, Lars would die if I were to do him the favor of getting Claire to work with us.
Should I ask her? Would it save my job?
Ugh. I tap into my messages and my fingers hover as I debate whether or not to text her. She’s heavily pregnant. She has a lot going on right now. Do I ask her for a favor outright or try to trick her into it? My mind races as I try to decide my next move.
Being in Citidaze wouldn’t be a good move for her. But being sacked would be an even worse move for me.
As the debate rages in my mind, a new text pops up on my screen, and drives a little bit of the worry about the mystery email out of my mind, reminding me that I have myriad problems at the moment. Besides just work.
DW: Hey. Should we talk?
My cheeks flame.
Here’s the truth: over the past year or so, I’ve sort of fallen into a friends-with-benefits situation with someone I probably shouldn’t have.
That’s him, texting me right now.
I keep resolving to stop it, but … so far, I haven’t managed to make clean break.
The problems are many.
He’s too young for me.
I’ve known him forever — since he was in diapers, literally.
