Page 87 of Cuts like a Knife
What? Oh right. I’d almost forgotten the coffee cup Danny foisted on me the moment I’d climbed into the van.
“It’s amazing, man,” jumps in Drew, who’s been listening with mild interest275. “One of the best coffees I’ve ever had. Where’d it come from?”
“Chef’s secret,” Danny says. “But in five minutes, I’ll give you something else that you’ll like even better.”
“So I don’t get it. Why do the show at all? The profile boost or whatever can’t be that valuable, can it? Or, if you don’t like how it’s going, you could quit, right?”
This time it’s Maylee who responds, “No, the profile thing is going to be worth it. This show is huge. Danny’s restaurant already has investors. Everything is in place, but the launch is so important. And it’s the same with my book. The timing works out perfectly. The show will start airing, Danny’s doors will open, my book will hit stores, all at the same time, right before the holidays. It’ll be a perfect storm. The value is sort of incalculable, but it’ll be a good thing. We couldn’t get this kind of exposure any other way.”
“And we can’t quit now. The contract we each signed is crazy. Again, very American,” Danny laughs.
“How so?” I ask.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know. You guys are the most litigious people in the world! They’d sue the pants off us if we tried to bail on this gong show.”
“Gong show?” Drew has been fairly quiet, but he’s obviously trying to follow along.
“Ignore him. That’s another one of his strange Canadianisms,” laughs Maylee, and I make a mental note to Google the phrase later. “He right about the legal stuff though. The contract we all had to sign is very intense,” she admits. “And just between us, we’ve already violated it in a bunch of different ways. And the production company has actually sued contestants before. But anyway, it’s fine. This blitz filming schedule is ideal in at least one way — here we are making fast progress through the week. We’ll make it. It’s not that bad when you really think about it. And it will all be worth it in the end.”
“We’re here!” Danny is looking out the window at an unassuming clump of worn down buildings in bright, Bahamian colors, looking like a happy puppy. “Come on, folks. Gastronomic paradise in vacation paradise is moments away!”
As the van pulls slightly to the side of the narrow street and I step out, blinking, I pull out my phone to make a few notes to myself before I forget anything this pair of fools just said.
This story goes beyond goofy headlines about personal beefs and bad moods. These two have pulled off a serious fraud.
It’s truly wild that this story has just fallen into my lap like this. After so many years of bad luck, it barely seems real.
I pull up my notes app and tap out a few key things for later.
MAJOR breech of contract
Pre-meditated fraud against show?
Have been a couple for 2+ years!!
Anti-Americanism (Maylee self-hating? Focus on lack of gratitude.)
Calculated selfish efforts to secure publicity for personal projects
Laughing at fraud. Have complete understanding of what they’re doing, why it’s wrong, that it violates their contracts, etc.
Chapter Twenty Three
“Where are we?” I say as I look around at the tiny village. After the opulence of Emerald Queen, our surroundings look distinctly dinky.
The buildings are salt-worn and grubby, the road dusty and rutted. I can see one notable building, painted a sort of bubble-gum pink.
“This is Georgetown!” exclaims Danny. “It’s the capital city, you know.” My eyes flick to Drew at this obvious misuse of the word “city” but he’s busy looking around and listening, a smile on his face. “Follow me, all. And don’t worry if things look downmarket after the hotel. This is the real Exuma.”
Colonizer chef goes slumming for ideas he can repackage for a profit
Danny leads the way along a little path. There are shops and storefronts, but they all look closed. He dictates a little tour as we make our way along.
“Georgetown is capital of all the Exuma islands. That’s actually the government building right there.” He points to the pink building I’d already noticed. “This is a really cool place, but most people staying at our hotel will see it. Pirates used the deep harbor here — Elizabeth harbor, but it’s got a different name on Google for some reason — way back in the sixteen hundreds! And I think they filmed a bunch of Pirates of the Caribbean here, too, if you’re a fan276. Anyway, here we are.”
Pontificating pair too good for TVs hottest cooking competition
Danny’s stopped in front of a what looks to be a food shack. It’s got a drop-front wooden shutter painted in candy colors, proclaiming ‘Good Eats!’ In front, but it’s definitely closed. It’s not even 8:00 am for goodness’ sake.
