Page 51 of Cuts like a Knife
Lex: Who am I kidding? It’s the Bahamas. Hot Slice is idiotic. It’s easy work. The weather’s beautiful. This is my view right now.
Claire: Now I really am jealous. Look at Petar! Wow.
Lex: What about Maylee Wise? Know anything about her?
Claire: I love her. She’s hilarious on Twitter.
Lex: Is she? I just Googled her. She hasn’t done anything in a long time.
Claire: I think she’s a writer now. She may be writing a book? She tweets a lot of political, feminist stuff, but she’s really funny. She’s sort of like you, only…
As I watch, the bubbles appear and disappear, then appear again. A whole minute passes. Only what, Claire!? My family is infuriating. Finally another text comes through.
Claire: Sorry, I was going to say something mean. Ignore me. I’m just grouchy bc I’m uncomfortable.
Lex: No, tell me. Only what.
Claire: Really, it was a passing thought.
Lex: Tell me.
Claire: I was going to say nice. She’s like you, only nice.
Lex: Lol. So?
Claire: Sorry. I told you it was rude. You’re nice.
Lex: I’m not. And it’s fine. So Petar? What else can you tell me? Where does he live?
Claire: Nowhere, really. Or New York, maybe? Probably at some super tiny, super-exclusive hotel for billionaires.
Lex: Gross. But he must have an actual address somewhere, no? Info online is really thin.
Claire: I think sometimes those super rich people don’t live anywhere. He probably owns three castles in Europe or something. That he rarely visits. He’s always jetting around in private planes. Traveling. Partying. It’s all on his IG.
Lex: So why’s he doing this show?
Claire: For fun?
Lex: I don’t see the appeal.
Claire: ¯\_(?)_/¯
Lex: Okay. Thanks for your help.
Claire: No problem. I’m so so so bored. This baby is squeezing my bladder like a stress ball. My feet hurt. Talk to me more. Who else is there? What’s happening?
Lex: Savannah Jack. She seems fun. Troublemaker. Rhiannon Maltese. Probable alcoholic. Maylee is probably going to bone that Canadian chef with the tattoos. Do you know the one? Danny?
Claire: Oh, he’s hot. Huge lobster tattoo? I’ve watched him on the cooking channel. (Don’t tell Adam I said he was hot.) I’m happy for her.
Claire: Have you talked to her? Tell me more! I need to live vicariously through you, my cooler, younger sister.
Lex: Can’t. Really gotta get back to it.
That was a little curt, but I really don’t want to lose a whole hour chatting with Claire about the inane. I got what I needed, but now I’ve gotta bounce. Still, I suppose I should be nicer about it. I tap out one last reply.
Lex: Sorry. Bye for now. Talk soon. Tell that kid to take their paws off your bladder.
