Page 26 of Cuts like a Knife
Gray: Sorry, I know we are getting OT, but I just have to point out that Marla called it her baby. HER baby. Did no one else catch that?
Bex: I did! She did it more than once, right? I can’t believe Claire’s head didn’t explode.
Bex: Sorry Claire. I know you’ll see this later. It’s a compliment. I think my head would have exploded.
Di: I absolutely caught it. She did say it more than once.
And on and on it goes. Then I see a single message from Bex in our private chat.
Bex: Diversion active. Go. Go out to the barn to talk. Or whatever. Wherever. No one will miss you. You’re welcome.
I can still feel Drew behind me. He’s so close. And part of me wants him so badly, I’m almost shaking. It’s just … it would be so comforting to have someone right now. Someone to talk to. Someone to confide in. Someone to drive all the thoughts out of my mind and help me relax.
After that email, I feel so … unsettled. I could lose myself in Drew for awhile and forget all about it.
But no. This is not the time. Even if I were to take him out there just to talk, I can’t trust myself not to let it turn into something else entirely. And with him wanting to make things between us “official” I can’t risk it.
Whatever I might feel for the guy, I resolve to ignore it. I won’t be going to the barn tonight. And as of tomorrow, I’ll be off to the Bahamas for work and Drew will be far away80.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter how I feel. It doesn’t matter what I need81.
I’ll get some perspective. Refocus on work, like I need to. This trip is a gift, really. My chance to shine.
I can’t wait to leave.
I click back into the family chat.
Lex: Hey everyone, I know this is also OT, but guess who’s has two thumbs and is going on an all-expenses-paid trip to THE BAHAMAS tomorrow for work? (So I won’t be at Sunday dinner, FYI.)
Lex: This guy!
I throw in a gif of Jim from The Office with a demented look on his face, and across the room, I see my mother chuckle in spite of herself.
She is so old.
Also across the room, I see Bex shake her head. She sends me one more solo text.
Bex: I’m trying to help you here, you know.
I do know. I really do.
My sister is great. She’s my best friend, but right now, she’s not giving me the sort of help I want or need.
~
I hump my duffle down the aisle of the shuttle bus as it finally pulls in to Terminal Two on Sunday, just after 8:00 am.
I’m late. Again.
I actually planned to be on time for this flight. I got through the rest of that ridiculous baby shower on Friday night by studiously avoided any alone time with Drew, ignoring his eventual invitation to go “for a walk” to the barn, and instead, went home relatively early.
Then I spent most of Sunday packing for the trip82.
I’ll be working, but it is The Bahamas.
Besides, I could get fired at any time. Whoever wrote that email could be talking to Lars right now. I might as well make this most of this trip. I’ll probably never get another chance at a Caribbean freebie like this.
Callum and I are headed to The Exumas — a group of 365 islands or cays. From the tiny amount of time I’d had to do my Google research, I’d discovered that we’d be spending our time on Great Exuma — the largest of the isles at 37 miles long, according to Wikipedia. (I actually spent kind of a lot of time on Wikipedia yesterday, when I wasn’t frantically looking for my passport, which I did manage to find, just after 3:00 am, in the very back of my freezer of all places. No idea why.)
