Page 20 of Cuts like a Knife
“The kid knows what she’s doing, CJ. She used to work at Flash,” says Lars. Callum rolls his eyes a little at that, but I don’t think Lars can tell. “Just think volume,” Lars says to me. “Lots and lots of volume. Stuff we can use soon, over the holidays when the season airs, but later as well. Think outside the box and try to imagine future content. Content we haven’t even imagined yet.” He is rolling one of the green apples back and forth between his palms while he rocks back in his desk chair, with his feet propped up on the desk in front of him. With his boyish face, and sparse facial hair (little more than a few long and straggly grays) he looks almost elfin. His height helps55.
“Putting you up ain’t cheap,” Lars finishes. “So make it worth my while, okay?”
I don’t really know what to say, so I just sit there. Staring. I’m not fired. Lars and Callum are both a—holes, and I need to get my game face back on.
“I better… get home,” I finally say. “To pack. I actually have my sister’s baby shower tonight, but after that…”
“Tonight?” says Lars, his interest piqued. “Like a real baby shower or one for the network? Can you get any photos? You know, behind the scenes? There could be something there.”
A part of me is tempted to say yes, but I shake my head. Lars is so deluded. No one from Deb Loughlin’s network ever works with us. We’re a joke. The emailer hasn’t followed through. Not yet. There’s still time to figure this out. Selling my sister out can wait.
“Sorry,” I say. “I think it’s a closed event. The PR department wouldn’t approve it. I’m just there as … well, family. You know.”
“What’s the point of having someone on staff with a famous sister if she can’t get us so much as as inch of content, honestly.” Callum rolls his eyes. “Well, off you go then, Madison. Pack a bikini. All work and no play makes CJ a dull boy56.”
As I rise out of my seat and back out of the office, both men are laughing.
The old me wouldn’t have put up with it. Not for a second. I would have spoken up.
Oh well. Not anymore. I’m not who I once was.
This is what my life has become. But at least I still have a job. That’s what matters.
Back at my desk, Dani’s face is all interest and concern.
“So?” She hisses. “What happened? What were you so worried about? Come on, spill57!”
How dumb does she think I am? Dani has gotten me to blab about about so many things I wish I hadn’t. In addition to making me bitch about Lars once, she has tricked me into a venting session about Susan who works in Ad Sales (and just happens to be Lars’ sister — which is a whole other thing).
Susan is one of those people who is always low-key bragging about being rich and thin. Like a year ago she was going on and on about the new cashmere sweater she’d bought and said something like ‘cashmere is my fave because it’s just so soft and light, but super warm and of course, I run cold. People my size always do58.’
That conversation was bad enough, but then afterwards, Dani tricked me into thinking I was safe to complain about the various obvious dog whistles that Susan so often favors, and once I was done, had the nerve to say to me, “I guess I’ve just learned not to let little things like that get to me. It’s just so much emotional energy to expend comparing myself when her cashmere sweater says everything about herself and nothing about me. You know? Like, I just don’t have the time to get upset about it59.”
She followed up this obnoxious bait and switch with doe-eyed blinking.
No. I’ve come way too far to fall into that trap with Dani again. So as much as I may wish I had someone to talk to about how gross the men in this office are, about how scared I am about the email, about how conflicted I am about Drew, even about this trip to the Bahamas and this ridiculous reality show, which I know nothing about, and she probably loves, that someone is not going to be Dani60.
Probably not, but you never know. You truly never know.
“So … they’re actually sending me to the Bahamas,” I say. “With Callum.”
“What?” Dani’s jumped up completely out of her seat and I can already see the jealousy playing on her face. “To Great Exuma? To the freaking Emerald Queen Resort and Spa? You? YOU get to go? I can’t believe this. And Lars is paying?”
“Well I’m hardly going to be the one paying. It’s work.”
Dani slowly lowers herself back into her seat. She looks stunned.
“But why you61?”
She has a point. I’m the Features Editor, but she does all of Citidaze’s Arts and Entertainment pieces. Show re-caps are her bread and butter and she loves reality.
“I don’t know, to be honest,” I finally say. “But don’t be too impressed. I mean, I have to travel with Callum.”
“Ew. Good point,” she says. “But still. Petar Timber is on this season’s roster, you know. God, he’s beautiful. And so rich.”
I roll my eyes.
“It’s not like I’m going to husband hunt, Dani. I’m supposed to be working. You know, producing content?”
