Page 19 of Cuts like a Knife
I rise slowly from my seat and, looking down at my feet, watch as my shoes move me across the floor, past accounting, and the weird server-room the IT guy sits in, and the long hall of closed-door rooms that make up the ad sales department.
I look up as I approach Lars’ office. I can see him behind his desk, the stupid bowl of green apples at his side, and Callum already perched in a chair, one leg crossed, leaning back, casual as can be.
He’s loving this.
I swallow and taste something bitter and metallic in the back of my throat.
It’s fine. I can do this. I’ve done it before. I’ll tell everyone I quit. They’ll believe me. I hate the job anyway. It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine48.
There’s a roaring in my ears as I arrive in front of Lars and take the seat next to Callum.
Their mouths start moving, but I can’t hear a thing.
After a few moments, Lars’ mouth goes still and I realize he’s staring at me, waiting for me to reply.
But I have no idea what he said.
I look over at Callum and he’s got a smirk on his face.
“I told him you’d be game. After all, Little Lex rises to every ask and meets every deadline. Even the s— ones, isn’t that right?” Callum makes air quotes around the word s—.
“Um, right? Yeah. Right. Sorry … what are we talking about?”
Callum’s face wrinkles into a frown.
“Get it together, Madison. We’re talking about Hot Slice. Filming. Down in the Bahamas? The junket? Or blitz or whatever the f— they’re calling it.”
His words set off a vague recollection memory synapse in my brain. I don’t actually read the countless faxed press releases that come in every day, but sometimes I glance at them before adding them to one of the piles next to my overflowing in-box. And sometimes I even glance at them again before inevitably dumping them into the recycling bin during one of my periodic power-tidy sessions. I’m pretty sure I remember scanning something about the latest season of the dumb reality show, Hot Slice.
Callum is still talking.
“They’re shooting the whole cycle in one week, which, if you don’t know anything about television production, and I’m sure you don’t, is insanely fast. Unprecedentedly fast. And even crazier, journalists get to attend, at least for a few days. Almost the whole week. Just not for the last couple of days when they film the finale. No spoilers.”
“In the Bahamas?49”
To be fair, any time anybody calls me into their office for anything these days, I assume I’m getting fired. The sound of an office door closing and the words “have a seat” seem to trigger an immediate panic reaction. It’s pavlovian. My mind practically short circuits. Every time.
Coming down from that kind of panicked anxiety is almost painful. I feel a ringing in my ears, and I’m sweating50.
“Are you sick or something, kid?” Lars is suddenly looking at me with what might be genuine concern. I can’t tell.
So I’m not fired?
Oh damn it. Did I just mumble that aloud?
“No, you’re not fired. I wouldn’t break up the dream team. Not before you get that sister of yours into How They Met anyway.” Lars barks out a laugh before continuing. “What are you talking about anyway? Why would you think you were fired?” He looks over at Callum. “What is she talking about?”
Lars has no idea that I was fired from my last gig. If he did, I probably never would have gotten this job in the first place. It was dumb luck and his cluelessness that landed me here51.
“I have no idea,” Callum is saying. Probably a girl thing. Time of the month or something.”
I wince52.
“Whatever. Okay, so if CJ says he needs you, you’ll both be off. Flights are first thing Sunday morning. Your tickets will be in your email. Go to the press-conferences, go to the events, make sure to attend as much official filming as possible. Talk to the cast. Lube them up. Make friends. Profile them, if they seem worthwhile. Just get as much as content as you possibly can.”
“That’s right, Madison,” says Callum, butting in as usual in a transparent effort to act like he’s my boss in front of Lars. “Even if something doesn’t seem timely for right now, just remember that you’re not the arbiter of what is and isn’t news. You just need to bank up the content. And it’s worth saying that you never know with these reality f—ers. One day they’re nobodies from YouTube, the next they’re winning Oscars. Look at that Petar Tiber a—hole. Five years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to pick him out of a lineup. Now he’s apparently the biggest star on the roster of this show. Who knows what’s next for him. There’s no predicting it53. Point is, if that happens, you can say you knew them when. You’ll have the early quotes, the footage. That s— is gold, trust me54.
“And you’ll need to keep an eye on them at night as well. Especially if they’re well-lubricated. After dark on that show — on any reality show — is usually the best. Hope they get drunk and keep a close eye in case any of them embarrass themselves.”
