Page 11 of Trashed to Treasured
Leaning back so my skin was touching his, I waited for his fingers to curl around my neck in a gentle grip before I began to speak. “As you know, my ex dumped me last week. He was a jerk, and we shouldn’t have been together anyway…but I still felt worthless and unlovable and stupid for believing that he’d changed.”
A stray tear trickled down my nose, but Aaron reached over and wiped it away. “You are not worthless or unlovable or stupid. He’s stupid for not seeing what he had right in front of him.”
I shrugged, not believing a word he said but not interested in trying to argue about it. “Anyway, I gave myself a week to wallow, and then I was gonna get my life back together.” I tucked my chin and peeked up at him. “And for the record, I was sober by Saturday night and haven’t had a drink since, so…”
“If Jesse hadn’t stopped by, you might have kept drinking and died of alcohol poisoning.” His tone was harder this time, more annoyed than I’d heard from him. “Do you realize that?”
“I’m sorry.” Instinctively, I pulled away from him, putting some space between us, because if he was mad at me, he probably didn’t want to be close to me.
“Where are you going?” His tone was soft again.
I couldn’t look him in the eye as I spoke as honestly as I could. “You sound annoyed, so I’m giving you some space.”
He scooted a few inches closer to me, resting his fingertips on the back of my neck again. “I am, but I don’t need space. I need to know that you understand how dangerous it is to get drunk like that…especially when you’re alone. I don’t have the right to ask this, but I’d like you to promise me not to do that again.”
I wasn’t sure I could promise that, so I avoided the request and decided to go down a more awkward rabbit hole. “Do you want that right?”
8
AARON
Holy hell, this boy was killing me.
What kind of question was that? Of course, I wanted that.
My fingers had been rubbing lazy circles on the back of his neck, but they stilled against his skin as I inhaled a deep breath. “I would like that, but I’m not sure you’re in the right space to agree to something like that. Not yet, at least.”
“What? Why?” Now he seemed to be the one getting annoyed. “Because I got drunk? I was just feeling sorry for myself. I stopped as soon as you told me to.”
He really was fragile, and I was terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing because I knew he would take every word or action personally. “No, not because you got drunk. You’re an adult, and you’re allowed to get drunk if you wanna get drunk.” I slid my hand to his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. “As soon as I saw your photo, I was attracted to you. But that’s not all you need, and that’s definitely not all I’m looking for.”
He bit the side of his lip and looked at me hopefully. “Okay, so what’s the problem?”
“There might not be a problem, but there’s still a lot we need to talk about. Namely, why did you want to get rid of that backpack?”
His chin dropped, and he turned away, staring at his glass on the table. “I bought those things…aspirationally. I’ve never been able to tap into my little side with a partner, or really at all, but I’ve wanted to. Geo said he would try to be a daddy, but he wasn’t into it, and he was way too selfish to really try.” He sighed and played with the hem of his shirt. “He mostly just made me feel like a freak for even suggesting it.”
I closed my eyes, willing myself to stay calm. I wasn’t the most experienced Daddy out there either, but I’d done so much research and spent so much time around others before even considering joining scenes with a little that I knew how important it was never to kink shame.
The prospect of having a boy of my own was overwhelming, and almost more than I ever imagined, but I truly believed I could be what Brody needed. As long as he was honest with me about what that was.
“So, why not save it until you did find someone to play with?”
“Like I said, I didn’t think I ever would.” He glanced toward me but couldn’t look me in the eye. “And it sounds like maybe I still haven’t.”
I hated knowing that I was causing so much stress and turmoil within him. Instead of trying to find the right words, I opened my arms and invited him to get closer.
Brody didn’t hesitate at all as he flung himself against me, instantly crawling to my chest, as if he had done it a thousand times before.
“You have, if I have anything to say about it. I just need you to be honest about what you need, and I’ll be honest about what I can give.”
He nodded, but it took him several seconds to come up with words to describe what he needed. Brody barely spoke above a whisper, but I heard everything he said. ”I just need somebody to love me. To care if I’ve eaten or remembered to set my alarm. To remind me to make good decisions and who wants me to be safe and healthy. I’ve never…” His voice cracked as he sobbed against my neck. “I’ve never been with someone who put me first. And I know a Daddy would do that. I know you’d do that because you already are.”
I held him tightly and let him release the tears that needed to be shed. When he pulled in a stuttering breath, I tilted his head up so I could look right into his glassy eyes. “I can’t make long-term promises because we don’t know each other well enough yet. But I can promise that if you’ll let me take care of you, we can see where this goes.” I needed a moment to keep my thoughts straight so I didn’t confuse the situation. “All I know is that I shouldn’t feel such a strong connection to you already…but I do. And the only way I know to move forward is to…move forward with you.”
Brody smiled and choked out another sob. “I’d like that too.”
I had a list of questions to discuss with him, but a knock at the door interrupted my train of thought. “That was quick. I’ll get the food. Would you like to eat at your kitchen counter or here?”
