Page 65 of 183 Reasons

Sure. The Binn?

RYAN

I’m in.

JAY

What time are you guys thinking?

JACKSON

How’s eight?

RYAN

K.

JAY

Works for me.

TYLER

I can finish by then.

RYAN

Who you got in your bed this time?

TYLER

A true gentleman never tells.

JAY

You are so full of shit. A true gentleman.

TYLER

What are you saying, Jay? I’m a man whore.

RYAN

You said it.

TYLER

Jealous bitches.

JACKSON

See you at 8.

Man, I’ve missed bullshitting with the guys. Sure, they’re crude and offensive, but that’s what I love. Since the accident, these guys have put up with a one-sided friendship, and not one among them has called me out. They’ve hung back and waited for me to be ready. There were months I went without even calling or texting, never mind going out.

My phone never went silent for more than a few days. One of the guys would always check in. I should thank them. I hope they know I appreciate them, but we don’t talk about emotional shit. In reality, I’m an asshole. They were there that day too. We were all friends with Trinity. But since she and I had taken things to another level, I’ve held myself responsible this whole time.

Truth is, they experienced the horror unfold as much as I did. Each of us dealt with it in our own ways, but I never considered how much they might be suffering. I was too suffocated by my own emotions to worry about how they were handling everything. They deserve more than that, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.