Page 246 of A Sanctuary from Shadow
Cursing, Pete jerked up from the mattress and strode, nude muscles rippling, past where Sionna snoozed on her own new feather bed, sprawled on her back in an odd contortion only she could find comfortable. He swept over to the table where we’d left a pitcher of water and some mugs. “What is it you want me to say?” Pete plopped upon a stump in the shadows. His hairy legs spread wide in casual shamelessness. “You want me to tell you to forget the Spring Palace even exists, that you can relinquish your crown, your duties to your people, and your destiny, so that you may spend eternity here in Eden playing house?”
I flinched. Because I wasn’t playing; I hadn’t thought he was either.
Fuming, Pete poured himself a mugful of water. “I can’t do that, Shorty. And I can’t believe you’d want me to either.”
Tears blurred my vision. I turned away from him.
“You told the goddesses you were ready,” Pete murmured. “At your summoning.”
Sniffling, I swiped one tear away. Ten more replaced it. “What the hell did I know? I didn’t know at that moment, that you—that this—thatallthis—”
“Aw,Shorty.”
I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him when he returned to my side. Or when he hooked an arm around me. Instead, I snuffled into my hand like a pig. “I didn’t know I’d be so happy here. In my life, with myself, with—with you.”
“Shorty—”
“No, listen, Pete!” I faced him, my cheeks dripping. “Ilikemyself when I’m here! Ilikemyself when I’m with you! Because this person you know—she’s me! And I can’t be her at the Spring Palace! I can’t—” I despaired just imagining my life without him beside me. “I can’t just give her up to be whoever theyfeelI should be. How can anyone expect me to do that? Least of all you!”
Pete held me as I shuddered in remembrance of all the etiquette, all the decorum, all the politics I’d have to surmount.You’d be ridiculed as weak, ineffectual, hysterical, [and] dimwitted,Uncle Neel’s warnings echoed through my mind, shredding my newfound confidence. I pictured myself at court—mocked, sneered at, and degraded for merely accepting my birthright. “Oh, Goddess.” I dropped my head into my hands. “Pete, they don’t even want me to be queen. They want me to be a figurehead.”
Pete stiffened. “Who?”
“Everyone!” I cried. “My aunt, my uncle, all the elders, probably all the gentry, and the council. Probably tons of other factions I don’t even know about! Just because I’m female! They all expect me to marry Briar and give him all the power! They all view me as a baby-making factory who should sit in the background, smiling and looking pretty.”
The corner of Pete’s jaw twitched. “Briar included?”
“Probably. I mean, he gave me the choice of taking the throne if I wanted it, but he never really let me think about it. He kind of decided he would take it for me.”
“What do you mean hegaveyou the choice? Was that choice his to give?”
I paused. “Well, no—”
“Whose choice was it?”
My lips trembled, more tears cascading. “Daddy’s.”
“That’s right.” Pete shifted on the mattress. “You know I have my—animosities—where your father’s concerned, but I’ll give the auld lad one thing—he knew what he was doing when he handed you that crown.”
And, Goddess, I hope I don’t disappoint him.
“He knew he was giving it to the right person, Shorty. Theonlyperson who’d right all the wrongs and dislodge Gentian’s grip on his subjects. He knew you were strong-willed enough to fight for those who couldn’t fight for themselves.”
“But I’m scared,” I wept into his neck. “And so fucking tired of fighting.”
Pete withdrew to eye me, brow arched. “You ken who you’re talking to, don’t you?”
“Ugh.” I smacked myself in the head. Had I just whined about fighting to a man who’d done nothing but fight for well over 200 years? “I’m such a cry-baby.”
“Aye.” He smiled. “A little.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Forgiven.” He kissed my forehead. “But so as we’re clear, it matters naught where you are, Shorty. You’ll always be you—even if those wankers at court try to stifle you. If there’s one thing I know about Amy Larkspur, it’s that she’ll eventually burst out of her shell in a blaze of fire—especially if someone dares call her a b—”
I pressed my finger to his lips. “Don’t you speak that evil.”
His eyes glimmered. “As I said—if they start haranguing you, it’s at their peril. You’ll show them the error of their ways.”
