Page 179 of A Sanctuary from Shadow
You should tell him, I scolded myself, the dishonest friend that I was.He deserves the truth.
The relationship I’d formed with Pete, though weird, was real. If nothing else, there was trust between us. Or at least he thought there was. And I was betraying him every day by keeping the crux of my plight from him. He was bound to find out the truth when we reached the Shadow Palace, anyway. I doubted Gentian would allow my identity to remain a mystery. And if Pete found out in such a fashion, without warning, that I was the daughter of the king he so detested—the king who’d overlooked him when he was so grievously suffering that he’d surrendered to Gentian directly thereafter—would he suddenly change his mind and sell me out—leave me to fend for myself in Gentian’s clutches?
But if I cued him in ahead of time, told him everything, maybe he’d come to terms with who I really was before we reached those clutches. And I knew with time he would.
Because Pete found my soul more beautiful than my face.
Even if he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive Daddy, he’d forgive me. I just needed to ensure that happened before Pete did something regrettable. If that man needed less of one thing, it was regret.
Later that day, when Sedge went off with Kit to hunt (what he was hunting, I didn’t want to know) so Pete and I could train, I made up my mind to do the right thing.
Between my physical and magical training, I wiped the sweat from my brow, shoved my braid over my shoulder, and faced Pete on our makeshift battleground—a sandy forest enclosure where palms outnumbered banyans.
“Can I talk to you about something?”
Pete glanced up from setting aside his sweaty jerkin, the heat too much for him after our workout. “Of course, Shorty. Praise upon my skillset is always welcome.”
Forcing my laugh, I bit my lip.
Pete quit the playful act and exhaled. “What is it you need to say?”
Still biting my lip, I approached him. The fact that his Adam’s apple bobbed as it had the night I’d been compelled to seduce him flattered me to no end. I still questioned how the rest of the universe saw me, but Pete really did find me sexy.
I shook that thought away.
Friends, Amy. He just wants to be friends.
Maybe not even that after you confess.
“I—I haven’t told you everything,” I stuttered. “About my life. About who I am. And I think I need to—if we’re going to be friends. And it—it might put a strain on us. On our friendship—our alliance.”
His expression was like the dawning suns, spreading warmth over the cold dread in my guts. “Friendship doesn’t mean I’m owed your secrets, Shorty. It means I must respect that you have them, for they’re yours to keep.”
I stared at him, caught off guard.
“I’ve taken much from you in our time together. Your freedom. Your totem. Your pride at times.”
All that was true, but Gentian had forced him into it. Mostly, anyway.
“If that hasn’t put a strain on our friendship, your secrets won’t.”
I cringed, certain he was wrong about that.
His chuckle was as good as a warm hug. “There’s nothing you could say that would change—what we are.”
I wondered what he’d really wanted to say.
“And given that, I don’t want or need an admission you’re neither ready, nor willing to make.” He waved away my gasp of argument. “Now, stop delaying your lessons and spray that dead tree over yonder with fire.”
So, that was my attempt at telling Pete who I was. His reaction had me humming a classic Bayview Boys song later that night.
Thedreamchangesagain.This time, when Pete wafts into my room, shadows rippling, I leap toward him, throw my arms around him, and we kiss like gentle lovers. Or as gentle as a man made for violence can be.
His shadows envelop me as they always have, but instead of terror, I feel warmth and safety. And joy. I feel like a woman who’s been searching for a place to belong, to call home all her life, only to realize there was no need. Because her home was always going to find her.
When the chill in the air becomes ice, I grip my harbinger and grit my teeth. More phantoms darken my doorway, their shadows snaking toward us like mustard gas. Snarling as the melody always haunting the scene crescendos, I shove Pete and his tethers behind me.
I spin on the new threats with a feral gleam, now guarding Pete along with my siblings. I’m the only thing standing between them and certain doom. And I’mgoingto be enough.
