Page 152 of A Sanctuary from Shadow
“Have you ever deflowered someone?” The question tumbled off my tongue without a bashful hitch. Probably because I was drunk. Maybe because conversing with Pete that night was effortless. My thoughts simply became words.
“Aye,” he admitted, smirking at the stars. “In fact, a fair portion of the beyns Howlite so kindly reminded me that I’d been purchased for were virgins.”
That he’d broached that subject after seeming so tormented by it earlier surprised me. “Did you have a reputation for being gentle?”
“Can’t say as I did. I’m afraid even when I try to act the lamb, I wind up becoming more the ram. Truly, I think the youngbloods were so fond of me because I always endeavored to discover what would madden them with lust. That often routed their misgivings.”
Ignoring my suddenly erratic pulse, I tittered. “And what would madden them?”
“Everyone was different, but I always found something to do the trick.” Pete nodded my way, his amatory capacities revealed in a gaze, thorough as a resume. “I’m certain that if Briar had taken the time to learn your body, you’d not be sitting here, questioning your bed-play courage.” His eyes glimmered. “You’d have been too far gone to care.”
I cleared my throat. And my naughty mind. “Iwaspretty much in my head the entire time. Both times, actually.”
“Mm.” Pete’s voice evoked images of shower steam. “See, I’d ensure you spent time in the rest of your body as well.”
My breath shook. To cover up, I shimmied beneath my cloak. “Chilly, isn’t it?”
Pete considered me for a moment before peering up at the moon. Then he inhaled like he was about to dive to the ocean’s depths. “I kent what was being done to me. At the Shadow Palace—with Gentian’s acolytes.”
I held my breath, guessing he’d never made such an admission. Even to himself.
“I kent it was rape.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I suppose I simply chose not to see it that way, not to see myself in the light of a victim. Christ knew I was a victim in so many other ways.” With a humorless laugh, he shook his head. “But for certain times like tonight, I rarely feel the indignity of it. Can’t say I was always opposed to being sold like a prized stallion either. Especially to the virgins. They weren’t as haughty or demanding as the more seasoned Dananns. Mostly, the youngbloods didn’t even ken why they were at the Shadow Palace until I was delivered to their chambers—as a gift.”
“That must have been awkward.” How would I have reacted if a strange man had moseyed into my room for the sole purpose of taking my virginity? Probably not well. “Did any of them turn you away?”
He sniffed. “Gentian’s brothelers don’t precisely like refunding seeds, so I had to do what I could to inveigle the nervous ones. Making them feel safe was customarily all it took. Unless, of course, we were being watched. Then my task became a complicated game.”
Had I heard right? “Watched?”
Pete shot me a sidelong glance. “Your kind has an affinity for voyeurism. That’s why so many patrons pay second-hand stud fees—so they can watch.”
“I swear on my father, I’ve never heard that.” I could’ve gagged. “That’s fucked up.”
“Agreed, Shorty.”
I shook myself. “Ick!”
Pete’s grin faded. “My judgments are generally sound, but I should give him the benefit of the doubt—is your intended also ignorant of this world?”
“Oh, no, he’d lived here for a while before we crossed to the human world.” I rested back against the wagon ledge, setting the water skin aside. I couldn’t drink another drop. “He’s much older than I am, though he doesn’t look it, does he? He’s a reverter, I guess. Actually, he grew up with my mother, which is just—so weird.” I grimaced. “And I didn’t know any of this until the day we crossed the portal. After my father—you know.”
Pete sobered. “Then I’m right, Shorty. Don’t marry him. I suspect you won’t like what else he hasn’t told you.”
I stretched my arms high as I yawned, liquids jostling in my belly. “You’re probably right about that too.”
Pete stretched as well. “The night’s waning, Shorty. We should sleep.”
Nodding, I uncurled, the bracing air filtering its way beneath my ridiculous skirt. My teeth chattered as Pete helped me out of the wagon.
After we’d both relieved ourselves, I puttered around our camp in search of kindling. Our fire had died while we gambled, and mist now clung to my skin.
“We should’ve thought to do this earlier,” I remarked as Pete shook leaves off his bedroll. “Now, we won’t have the energy to get a fire going.”
“We won’t be setting any more fires tonight, Shorty.” Pete angled my way. “Not after your last.”
I stared at the cold, damp ground, then back at him. “And you’re worried about me being hungover? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable I’ll be, sleeping on the hard ground without a fire? I’ll complain for a week.”
His gaze rolled skyward. “I don’t doubt it, Shorty. That’s why you’ll be joining me in the shadows tonight.”
