Page 104 of A Sanctuary from Shadow
“How do you watch your balance?”
“By making good choices that create light magic as well as my usual dark.”
“You can create magic?”
“Certainly.” His mouth bunched again at my lacking education. “Everything you do in this place creates some type of energy—some of which can be internalized if you ken how to siphon it.”
“And making good choices helps you stay balanced?”
“Aye.”
“To overcome your evil darkness?”
Pete shifted on the rock. “You’ll want to be careful with your distinctions, Shorty. Death poppy is unequivocally evil—its void magic can poison a person’s soul. Plain auld dark magic on the other hand—well, there’s nothing innately wrong with it. It’s just a color of the rainbow. It’s only when you let it consume you or use it with ill intent that it can unbalance your internal magics. Using crystal magic wrongly is just as bad.”
“Hm. So, doing things that create light magic keeps your darkness in check. Like a yin-yang.”
“Well, bugger me! I’ve actually heard of that one, and aye, that’s precisely what it’s like.”
Relaxing, I reclaimed my seat beside him. “How does Gentian feel about your regained balance?”
Pete clicked his tongue. “That’s the rub, Shorty. He doesn’t know about it.”
Oh.
“I wasn’t merely speaking of bondage when I said I’d forfeit my freedom, though that threat always looms. I’m more in fear for the freedom of my soul. You see, failure to follow a direct shadow ordination would get me called before Gentian for a reprimand—which isn’t a wholly terrible thing. Samhain’s Passion—what us harbingers call the source of Gentian’s powers—it requires harbingers, so we’re too valuable to dispense of lightly. Most who displease Gentian get fifty lashes and a night outside naked in the cold.”
I cringed.How is that not terrible?
“But with me—” He shook his head. “I fear facing an inquest means he’ll realize I’ve undone his void.”
“He hasn’t seen you since he made you a harbinger?”
“He has, but I try not to linger when he’s near—usually just for the space of time it takes to collect my bounty once I’ve met his ordination.”
“But your eyes—”
“I’ve learned to unbalance my magic just enough, so that the poison takes a small foothold. My eyes turn to pits, but the void can’t swallow me.”
“That sounds dangerous, Pete.”
“Aye, but no more than defying Gentian, Shorty. If I fail to deliver you, the bastard will interrogate me. If he so much assuspectsI’ve loosened his hold on me, he’ll make me drink from the Well of Sincerity and uncover every act I’ve done in disobedience against him—including helping you get away.”
He’d done things in disobedience? He wasn’t always Gentian’s compliant goon?
“Why are you so sure he’d suspect you’d defied him? Why wouldn’t he believe you’d just screwed the pooch?”
Pete laughed, rubbing his face. “I’m his best harbinger. I’ve never failed an ordination before. Apart from one, that is, but that was on account of his poor planning. Anyhow, if I fail again after so long, he’ll suspect me of defiance straight away.”
His gaze gentled as I frowned, unsettled by our shared predicament.
“Please understand—Gentian knows I hate him, that I have no allegiance to him other than the blasted tether that binds me, and that I’m not a cold-hearted killer. If I’m not in demonic thrall, then I’m just a liability.”
Briar’s words flitted through my mind:No caster wants a harbinger with a heart.
“He’ll force more death poppy down my gullet, and I’ll be lost to that demonic void forever.”
I swallowed hard, tasting the poison.
