Page 242 of A Sanctuary from Shadow
Resigned to explaining the matter, something he’d clearly hoped to put off until forever, Pete grumbled, “It’s a connection formed between kindred spirits, Shorty.” Whether he knew it or not, his hand at my waist snugged deeper into that subtle curve. “It means that on some level, we each feel deep and spiritual empathy for the other.”
“Oh.” Pondering his explanation, I shrugged. “That doesn’t sound like anything too heavy.”
Pete’s mouth twitched.
“What?”
He loosed a breath. “Formed affinity bonds were how white magic fae kent that a pair could be mated—when they were permitted to mate them.”
My breath rushed out of me. “You meansoulmated?”
He nodded.
“Wait just a second! Didn’t you tell me onlyhumanscould be turned into soulmates?”
“Aye, well—” He grimaced. “I’m human, aren’t I?”
“ButI’mnot. Which is quite obvious now.” After I’d met my almighty fire fairy grandmother, how could I deny it?
“As Myrrdin described it to me when first we’d discussed my being your anchor, mating souls isn’t as cut and dry as I’d always been made to believe, Shorty. As he put it—your physical body is Danann, but your soul—” He harrumphed—damn near a profanity. “Christ, Shorty, your soul is more human than most humans’ souls. It’s not just how I see you. Itisyou.”
Something in the core of me shimmered like a diamond. “Was I born a human in a Danann body?”
“I can’t say. Potentially that. Or potentially your upbringing transformed somethingaboutyour soul, made it more human. They’re plainly a messy business, souls.” His expression took a mordant cant. “Myrrdin wasn’t about to waste his breath detailing it all for me when he didn’t feel I needed to know.”
Goddess, he’s so cute—all perturbed and shit.
“Pete, forgive me for being—well, me—but I don’t see why you wouldn’t want that kind of bond with someone else. I mean, isn’t that the kind of thing 99 percent of people living in any world are looking for? Someone they can feel that close to?”
Goddess, that’s what I’d been searching for since I watched Orrin and Talulaha’s first kiss onKid Meets Life.
“Aye, Shorty, and I was no exception—until I was abducted into this life of pain and suffering and darkness. And now I’m a harbinger, to boot. I’m a walking bout of heartache for anyone unfortunate enough to be mated to me. Soulmatesneedeach other, Shorty. Long separations bring melancholy and misery, and Iliveon the road. And death—” He gulped, trying to contain his emotional response at the idea. “To lose a soulmate is to lose your very heart, and I couldn’t place such an onus on anyone, knowing my life is Gentian’s to take whenever he has the whim. And my soul?” He shook his head. “My soul will always be tainted with death poppy. Who kens what that might do to a potential mate? And what if Gentian learns I’m no longer demonic? He’d fix that in a blink, damning me, and I suspect, my mate.
“So, there you have it. That’s why I’ve been avoiding such a bond. That’s why I’ve spent decades avoiding the affections of other humans. Because I feared for their happiness, for the sanctity of their own souls. Now, is that a sufficient explanation?”
Warmth bloomed like a rose in my heart. “No,” I said.
His laugh smacked of frustration, his gaze intensifying. “Damn you, Shorty. Youmaddenme.”
Now, there was a line from a novel if I’d ever heard it. Said by the hero right before planting a good one on the heroine. The heroine I rather saw myself as that night.
“It’s a moot concern for you right now, anyway.” I tried not to let my exhilaration show. Not only was he a closet romantic, but he had so much compassion for the person he might one day love that he’d surrender his own future happiness to safeguard them. He was an Oliver Saint love story with hair—and lots of muscles. “Yes, we have an affinity bond, but we haven’t been made soulmates. Right?”
He was slow to agree, suspicious of where my thoughts were going.
“You said that approval is needed to make a couple into soulmates, that the powers that be aren’t sanctioning them.”
“Aye.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about.” My breath trembling, I closed the scant distance between us, slid my palms to his warm, fur-dappled chest. I made Pete’s breath tremble too, when I batted my lashes the way heloved. “We’re free to define our own relationship—be whatever we’d like to be to each other.”
At his blank expression, I feared I’d been too subtle with my proposition, that he hadn’t read between the lines as well as I’d assumed he would. I was about to be blunter when Pete took a sudden step back.
“No, Shorty!”
I bit my lip as he shook himself, vexed to his marrow with what I’d offered him—at how I’d tempted him, knowing what he wanted after he’d opened himself so completely to me. Was I taking advantage of his vulnerability? Maybe. But I wasn’t sorry about it.
Seeing my delight, he gasped. “You wily little fox! We agreed! We had an understanding!Friends, you recall? Weshookon it, for feck’s sake! You gave your word that we’dnevercross that line!”
