Page 174 of A Sanctuary from Shadow
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. That guy had it coming!”
How many times in my life had I let someone gawk or snigger about me behind my back without confronting them? How many times had I hid from scorning eyes like a misshapen hunchback? How many times had I ignored disrespect, let it roll off my back, though it stung on the way down? It had always been my burden that I didn’t fit in. Well, not tonight! Not after the Incubus aftermath. Now, I demanded to belong. To someone.
“That pipsqueak about to piss himself? What in bloody hell didhedo to you?”
“He just couldn’t get a close enough look at the Martian.” I folded my arms over my chest. Blocking the cleavage Pete clearly found unappetizing.
Pete shook his head. “Come again?”
“The Martian,” I growled, gesturing at myself. “Or Sasquatch as the kids at school knew me. Or Grendel from Beowulf. Oh, that was a favorite in sophomore English class, let me tell you.”
Realization dawned in Pete’s eyes. Incredulity followed. “You mean to tell me you were close to losing control over your secret,deathlypowers because some strangerlookedat you the wrong way?”
“He wasstaring! Like I was some mutant! The way kids look at mole-rats at the zoo. They’re so ugly that you just can’t look away. And I’ve put up with the same offensivebullshitsince kindergarten, Pete!” I paced, my hands open, imploring. “I mean, what’s so wrong with me, huh? So what if I’m tall and gangly and my eyes are too big, and my face too sharp? So what if I’m too skinny and have no hips or ass or breasts?” I gripped my hair, wanting to scream. “Why does any of that fucking matter? I mean, please tell me, Pete.”
Why don’t you want me?I needed his answer, even if I wouldn’t like it.
Finally, Pete shook himself, then scoffed. “Itdoesn’tmatter, Shorty. To anyone butyou.”
I flinched, though I knew he was wrong. Physical appearance had mattered more thananythingfor the bulk of my existence. I had no reason to hope this had changed. “Then why do they all stare?”
“I can’t say! Because I don’t fecking see you as everyone else does!”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means that I know you!” he exclaimed. “And the closer I’ve gotten to you, the more beautiful you’ve become to me!”
Not the answer I’d expected.
“Save it, Pete,” I said after several blinks of silence. “I’m not looking for bullshit right now. Just tell me the truth.”
“It’s not bullshite! Youarebeautiful. At least to my eyes.”
I scuffed my boot against a rock. “Yeah—whatever.”
Why did my friends and family shower me with false compliments when I admitted to feeling like a living carbuncle? They never seemed to realize how much they sucked at buttressing my pitiful self-esteem. Mainly because everyone else I’d ever met told me the truth. Though things became more civil in college, the belittling looks I attracted still ensured I knew the harsh reality about myself.
“When have Ieverbeen dishonest with you, Shorty?” That gave me pause. His bluntness was what I liked most about him. “I don’t patronize people. Never have.”
“Then why didn’t you say all this when I told you how insecure I am? Before we went to the bachram tournament, you didn’t—”
“Christ, Shorty, you expected me to confess I fancied you? When we’ve done little but battle each other from the start? You can’t see how that would disadvantage me as your captor? For you to know you could tempt me?”
I gawped, my neck hairs prickling.Pete thinks I’m beautiful?“But—”
“Damnit, Shorty, I’ve no cause to lie to you—especially now, after you’ve all but declared your disinterest in me.”
Huh?
“In truth, you’re the loveliest female this old boy has ever seen. In any world I’ve lived in. Although your hair is a rather dull shade, and I don’t care for your choice of footwear over much—”
Blinking, I clutched my deceptively brown hair and glanced down at my snow boots.
“But every other part of you does wicked things to me.”
HUH?
“Your eyes, for one—I’d surely have kept you bound and gagged the entire trek to the Shadow Palace after you turned myscianon me if it weren’t for those dazzling rainbow eyes of yours. And I’d never have left you the day you escaped me if what I saw when you tore off your clothes didn’t make me want to mount you like a buck in rut.”
