Page 69 of Payback
“Did he use a whip?” I asked, my voice strained.
“His belt was sufficient,” Jared disclosed.
Suddenly, my appetite waned, and I set the plate aside. Clutching the edge of the counter, I let out a shaky exhale. It wasn’t that I hadn’t noticed the odd bruises on Jared’s body that weren’t from me. I had always assumed they were from others our age attacking him when I wasn’t around. I had never considered the extent of his father’s cruelty. Guilt washed over me like a sudden wave. For a fleeting moment, the word “sorry” hovered on my tongue as I thought about how every time I inflicted pain on him, he was returning to even more pain at home. But then reality snapped back. I reached up to touch the collar he had put around my neck, and I realized an apology was unwarranted. He was balancing the scales between us, and the past couldn’t be undone. I wouldn’t utter an apology. Even if I had been aware back then, perhaps I might have reconsidered. But time had passed, and we couldn’t change the past. We were trapped in an unending war, and there was no white flag that could resolve it for either of us.
“I’m certain his fists were involved as well. That’s where the bruises came from?” I asked.
“Obviously,” he retorted, finishing his drink.
I sighed, averting my gaze, hoping to numb myself to it all. Nonetheless, I did understand better now why Jared was consumed by anger, unable to let go of the past. There was more to his fury than just me tormenting him.
“You still haven’t explained how you survived,” I pressed, facing him again.
“And I don’t intend to.”
“Why not?”
“Weaknesses, Alison. You were always adept at finding them.”
“Is this a weakness?” I asked.
“I consider any information I provide you to be one,” he said firmly. “I’m revealing my father’s story only because he’s no longer alive, and it’s all in the past. The past may have been hellish, but this chapter won’t return to haunt me.”
“I always had a talent for finding weaknesses, didn’t I?” I boasted.
“Annoyingly talented,” he commented.
A smile touched my lips, a sense of pride welling within me for that skill. But Jared shook his head.
“Don’t seem so pleased. Look where it’s gotten you. Perhaps this will genuinely change you, and maybe you’ll finally become a better person.”
“I am a better person. I grew up. After high school, I left those pranks behind.”
“Are you saying I was special?” he sneered, a strange pang striking my heart.
“You were simply an easy target,” I countered. “People in college were more mature, done with high school drama. I adapted to fit in.”
“Ah, a true chameleon,” he shot back. “Those kinds of people are never to be trusted.”
“You’re just stuck in the past and can’t believe people can change.”
“Not you, Alison. Even now, you’re fighting so hard for a marriage that’s doomed and defending your husband, who’s a rapist.”
“I told you he DIDN’T rape her!” I yelled.
“No? Then why was she paid off?”
I pressed my lips together, and Jared raised an eyebrow.
“It wouldn’t be the first time you shielded a rapist,” he snarled.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I? So your high school boyfriend didn’t rape a girl? The one you later assaulted so severely that she wound up in the nurse’s office?”
“Do you believe every rumor you hear?”
“Alison, I know what you’re capable of. So, I’m more than willing to believe any rumors about you,” he retorted. “It wouldn’t even surprise me if you filmed him in the act.”
