Page 40 of Payback
“You get off on it too. You taught me that.”
“No, I didn’t! If you believe I derive any enjoyment from having my ass spanked so fiercely that it smolders with an inner fire, you’re mistaken! I’m not a masochist-slash-sadist like yourself!” I growled.
“No, just a sadist.”
“Neither that!”
“Alison, you relish watching people grovel before you. Their utter brokenness pleases you. It brings you satisfaction. You might as well confess,” he asserted.
I had no desire to admit anything. I had evolved from the person I used to be. I was no longer the same adolescent who squandered time on foolish pranks and demeaning others. Adulthood had transformed me, and I had reshaped my life. However, Jared clung to memories of a different persona. He recalled something darker and more malevolent, and now he had embraced that darkness and malevolence, all because of me. If these weren’t the traits of a disturbed person, I wasn’t certain what qualified as one.
“I am no longer that young teen. I left my high school days far behind. You’re the one unwilling to move on,” I snapped.
“But why should you escape retribution?” he queried. “Why should any of you?”
“It’s called moving on.”
“It’s called being too afraid to take action. I am not the same frightened child anymore, Alison, and you detest that!” he growled, advancing toward me, intruding upon my personal space.
“You’re correct. I despise you!” I yelled. “I’ve always loathed you, and witnessing your tears and hearing your pleas for me to stop were the most gratifying things I’ve ever experienced!”
As the words left my lips, I slowly closed my eyes, realizing the admission I had just given him. As I reopened my eyes, I saw Jared standing before me, a pleased smile playing on his lips.
“Finally,” he remarked. “You’re just forgetting one thing. If you could have me bound, use me, and reverse the roles once more, you would eagerly seize the opportunity.”
“Want to prove I’m still the same girl?” I asked him, shaking my head slightly. “Well, I’m not. We grow up.”
“Not you, Alison. You’re evil to the core. Maybe some of your followers managed to move on, though not all of them amounted to much. But you, on the other hand, are incapable of changing.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“But I do, Alison. I am acutely aware of what I’m talking about. I know you. I know the person you are, and it’s a nasty one,” he snarled, igniting my anger. “If I were to give you a choice between your idealistic haven, flawed as it is, or coming to the bedroom right now with me and having your way with me, I know which option you’d choose.”
“You truly believe that if you unlocked all the doors, I wouldn’t make a break for it?” I asked incredulously.
“You won’t, because the reason you despise me so much is because I am exactly what you used to be: evil,” he informed me.
“I wouldn’t even touch you with a ten-foot pole if given the chance.”
“No? There isn’t something inside you right now yearning to pay me back twofold?”
As he posed the question, I was surprised by the strange need springing forth in my chest, demanding exactly that. It called for retribution, but also to test if I had lost my touch. Could I still make Jared cry like I used to? Could I make him beg for mercy? Or was he now immune to all my tricks?
“I want out,” I replied.
“You’re lying, but I’m not surprised,” he growled darkly. “You lie to everyone, even yourself. You act as if everything is so perfect in your home when the cracks are showing so clearly. It’s so sad.”
“Sad? You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Your husband is a fucking rapist. It seems like you have a type.”
“He didn’t rape her!” I growled back, getting in his face, the tension escalating between us, crackling like sparks.
We locked eyes, the room feeling like it was confining us as we simmered in the angry energy. Yet, it surprised me when a small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.
“Lying through your teeth. Will there ever be any truth coming out of your lips, or must you be confronted with the truth directly?” he questioned me.
I looked to the side, but he wouldn’t allow me to dismiss him like that. He tangled his hand in my long hair, turning my head to make me focus on him.
