Page 177 of A Touch of Poison
I knew him.
And I loved him. Gods,I loved him.
And maybe he knew me too, because he turned and gave me this look—this look, so intense it stole my breath before I could get a word out.
So, instead of speaking, I acted, crossing the room with a determined frown. I wasn’t sure what I meant to do, exactly, when I reached him, but he must’ve understood, as he came this way, shadows at his heels.
There was a moment when his arms closed around my waist and mine looped around his neck. A moment that strung out for hours, days, months. A moment empty of breath but full of wild and reckless hope.
Then, somehow, my lips were on his.
At last. At long fucking last.
Not almost. Not interrupted. Not stopped by the realisation that it was a bad idea.
Because it wasn’t.
It was warm and soft and yearning, like neither of us quite realised it was truly happening or we both expected it to be snatched away in an instant.
Then he smiled. I felt its angles, felt the soft huffing laugh on my lips, lighting me up like embers breathed back to life.
He was kissing me.
Kissing me like there were no regrets. No reason not to. Just a lot of wasted opportunities he now wanted to make up for as he gripped my hair and angled my head and deepened what we shared.
I lost myself in exploration and being explored, taking his tongue, curling mine against it, swiping into his mouth and running the length along one sharp canine. I whimpered at that last part, the scrape of pain bright and beautiful.
At the sound, he crushed the air from my lungs, and I had to pull away just to catch my breath.
All of this is real.
Fuck. It was.It was.
“Katherine,” he murmured, an inch away.
“I’m sorry.” I swallowed and tried to step back, but my feet weren’t on the floor. “I shouldn’t ask this of you. I just… The way you looked, it…” I couldn’t tell him how I felt. That would be unfair, just like running across the room at him had been. Hadn’t I said I wouldn’t take this from him? “You told me where you stood, and I need to respect that.”
“No, you don’t. Shouldn’t. In fact, I’m begging you not to.”
“Oh.” Bastian beggingandasking me not to respect him.
“I have been a fool. A fucking fool. Trying to resist. Pretending that if I don’t kiss you and that if only my shadows have you, then I’m not breaking any rules.” He ran his fingertips over my scalp and I shuddered at the touch. He made a soft sound, part pleasure, part amusement.
“You do remember that I’m… married?” I couldn’t help my nose wrinkling at having to bring it up. But I was committed to not being a regret—not for him.
He made a low sound, a glower shading his eyes. “I was planning to wait untilthat manwas out of the way, but… I can’t wait—not anymore. Not when I’ve been waiting a lifetime for you.”
I opened my mouth but couldn’t speak. What he was saying—it felt big. Too big to contain in a moment. Too big to hold in my skin. So big and bright and precious, I might explode with it.
“I was trying to say this morning… The race, the poison, the Horrors—every other time you’ve faced danger, there’s always been something you or I orwecould do about it. But yesterday… I thought we’d run out of chances.” His silver eyes gleamed as he went on in a whisper, “I thought you were dead.”
“I’m not, though.” I tugged on the collar of his shirt and skimmed a kiss over his mouth.
“No, but you could be.” He touched the point on my back where the arrow had entered. “An inch lower and you would be. When I woke, I was convinced you were and I realised—I believed…fuck them and their rules. You didn’t enter that contract willingly, so why the hells should I give a shit about it? If it means nothing to you, it means nothing to me. Even if that makes me a villain, an oathbreaker, all the very worst things people say.” He shrugged, bringing me closer with the arm around my waist. “It doesn’t matter.Youmatter. You matter more to me than I do. And I surrender this last thing to you.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted that level of responsibility. Yet hadn’t I lost my mind and control of my power not becauseIwas in danger, but because he was? The sight of his double dying had broken something in me. Nothing else had mattered.Nothing.
So maybe I was already right there with him.
