Page 92 of A Touch of Poison
Her face dropped. She blinked, and I could see her replaying what I’d just said.
“You are brave, Kat. Probably the bravest person I know. It’s just… somewhere along the way, you convinced yourself that you weren’t.”
She shook her head and went to reply—to argue, no doubt.
“My father told me that who you really are is what you do when no one else is looking.” The words unfolded in me together with a deeper truth. “You, Katherine, areonlyyourself when no one else is looking. The rest of it? It’s a mask you wear to keep yourself safe.”
Brow creased, she turned to the aconite. “Maybe what you think is a mask is the real me.”
But she didn’t sound as sure as she had earlier.
I’d take that as progress.
35
Kat
The day after the party, I woke late. Even Bastian did, grabbing a slice of toast off my plate on his way out. A different kind of quiet stood between us—not the stiff silence we’d shared initially or the charged one after our trip to Innesol, but a softer one. A moment after he left, he stuck his head back through the door. “We’ll talk later about that thing you wanted to tell me. Wait up for me?”
I nodded, then he was gone, his smile leaving a flicker ofsomethingrunning through my belly.
Be sensible, Kat.
That inner voice was right. We’d found a way to live together. I would be cured soon and I’d go home to Morag and Horwich. This was good. I didn’t need anything more—I certainly didn’t need to yearn for anything more.
I smiled and took a sip of coffee. Thiswasgood.
Should’ve known it wouldn’t last.
As I finished my breakfast, a message arrived summoning me to an appointment with Elthea. I wrung my hands and didn’t dare look at them, but that didn’t change what the piece of paper said, so I returned to my room to get ready.
The roses had been changed—today’s were a soft lavender hue. I’d learned my lesson from last night and didn’t touch them, but I appreciated the servants’ attention to detail in keeping them fresh and the scent—gods, the scent! It filled the room and despite the appointment, I found myself smiling as I got ready. A short while later, Rose collected me and we set off into the city.
Where Dusk’s side of the palace had become familiar, safe even, now I knew the king was behind unCavendish, it made the city feel more dangerous than before.
That, plus my impending appointment wound my nerves tighter as we snaked through the streets. I needed a distraction as I scanned the faces we passed, wondering if any of them were spies. Had I seen that person before? Were they following me?
“What do fae mean by ‘oathbreaker?’”
A man passing gasped and shot me a glare before striding off.
I winced, pulling my coat tighter. “Something bad, I’m guessing.”
Rose glanced around, but no one else was close enough to hear. “Be careful using that word. It’s one of their worst insults. Where did you hear it?”
“Last night. Someone called Bastian one.”
Her expression darkened. It ill-suited her but matched the overcast day perfectly. “I can only think of one reason they’d call him that. Word must’ve reached the city about your marriage.”
My stomach dipped like I’d missed a step. “How do you know about that?”
She offered me her arm and bent closer when I took it, protected by her sleeve and my gloves. “Bastian told me. The way he acted when he carried you through the shadow door made it obvious how he felt about you, but he didn’t tell me anything else. Clearly something happened in Lunden—I’m just not sure what…orwhat the situation is with your husband.” Her eyebrows rose slowly.
I explained the bare bones of my arranged marriage and that Bastian had found out only after knowing me for months. I let her fill in how our relationship had been progressing and the brick wall it had ploughed into with the arrival of my husband.
“Bloody hells, Kat.” She shook her head and squeezed my arm. “That sounds… pretty shit, to be honest. At least you’re away from him now.”
I gave a dark chuckle. “Being away from him has never been the problem. I’ve been away from him for a long time… and yet I still can’t escape him.” I held in the sigh that wanted to blast out. It would do no good.
