Page 148 of A Touch of Poison
The lives of hundreds of thousands of fae were more important than my father’s.
I’d weighed those things against each other and made my decisions accordingly. One fae was not more important thanallfae.
So when they’d called me Serpent, I’d gladly stepped into that role. The snake who had helped create the world, then tried to destroy it. The betrayer.
It had pushed back my father’s death, made it something ordained by fate. It had made me a villain not to be crossed so my queen could be her people’s heroine.
If I had to destroy in order for others to live, so be it.
I wore the name Serpent as a badge of honour. A necessary darkness in the light.
Butoathbreaker?
Not that.Neverthat.
I’d held on to a single ideal, kept every bargain and contract to the letter. I rarely even tried to twist them to my advantage. It was like inside, deep beneath everything else, part of me believed I could be honourable in this one area and that would go some way towards counterbalancing all my wrongs.
Not redemption—I was beyond that—but a dream of it.
I lifted my head, gaze skimming over the panel that hid my secret door. “My speck of light in the dark.”
Slowly, Rose nodded. “A speck you’ve been clinging on to for a long while. Long enough that it’s sunk right down to your subconscious. Deeply held beliefs aren’t easy to escape.”
“But logically—”
“We can’t just logic them away.” She gave a sad smile that said she spoke from experience.
“Hmph. Then, whatcanI do?”
“Be aware of it. Start arguing back. Decide whether you truly want to give up this belief—whether you’re ready to do that hard work on top of everything else. It will take time, if you do. Well, time or traumatic events.” She spread her hands. “Or, if you want to keep hold of that glimmer of light, you could try planB.”
“Give up a belief. I’m not even sure how to do that. What’s this other option?”
“Solve the external issue. Resign yourself to waiting until Kat isn’t married. You could help her get a divorce.”
“Or rip him apart with my bare hands.”
She chuckled. “Normally I’d be against casual killing, but after what I’ve heard about him? I can get behind murder.”
Murder or divorce. Or battling a deeply held belief. Nothing in life was ever easy. But Kat was worth it.
We sat a while longer, talking, and while I didn’t have an immediate solution, at least I understood what was holding me back and had a path forward.
Being with Kat wasn’t a case ofnever,justnot yet. I could remind myself of that as we travelled north—just the two of us.
57
Kat
“People of Tenebris, night owls of Luminis, we have endured much this past week.” From the royal balcony, a lodestone, the Night Queen scanned the crowd, Prince Cyrus at her side.
A show of unity, Bastian had called it.
Numerous folk from Dusk and a handful from Dawn gathered in the square opposite the balcony, eyes on the Night Queen.
Bracketed by Rose and Faolán and wearing a voluminous hooded cloak, I stood amongst them. Though, between the cloak and my friends’ large forms, no one would’ve realised it was me. I was supposed to be tucked up in bed, “ill.”
“My heart aches for you and for our losses. But know this—we have not been idle in our sorrows. No.” Even from here, the ferocity of the queen’s frown was impressive. The Crown of Night caught the light, glinting like moonlight on a blade. “We have captured an enemy operative.”
