Page 118 of A Touch of Poison
“So is the image of what that healer has done to you.”
I flinched, folding my arms.
He grunted as I made for the door. “You might want to reconsider pursuing a cure, Kat.”
I paused, hand on the handle. “Why?”
“I can’t keep taking your memories forever. It damages the mind to have gaps.”
I laughed darkly. “You’re telling me.”
Hadn’t I lived half my life with a yawning gap in my memories? The empty space had haunted me, little shards of that night poking through until it had all come back.
What I’d forgotten had haunted me, and now the memory of Elthea’s treatments did the same. I couldn’t win.
44
Kat
Despite Kaliban’s warnings, the next few days were good—great even. My routine resumed. Archery and self-defence with Faolán. Magic training with Ari. What she tried to teach me didn’t work, but I took what Kaliban had shown me with the fire and applied it to whatever was nearby. It calmed my mind and made the stains on my fingers recede. Much better than trying to squash the power down.
It made more sense than his comments about letting go. That sounded a lot like losing control, and the haze had come off me when I’d been utterly out of control. Daily practice with the fire—that seemed my best bet. Maybe this was as good as it got, and I just needed to hold out for a cure.
In the afternoons, I read and took notes, searching for anything that might be related to the Circle of Ash. It shouldn’t matter, but the new bouquet of roses in my room were a rich, deep pink that made me smile every time I saw them.A scrap of something.
Meanwhile, things between me and Bastian were… complicated.
Shocking, I know.
We weren’t arguing. In fact, we were playful and friendly—flirtatious even—but there seemed to be a forcefield around us that neither of us dared cross. We sat on opposite sides of the table in his dining room. We took separate armchairs in the sitting room. He didn’t enter my bedroom and I had yet to see his.
It was all perfectly safe.
Though my body grew tight and empty at once, like I wore an ill-fitting skin.
To combat that, the day before the Solstice, for Ella’s birthday, I arranged a lunchtime poker party, followed by an afternoon theatre trip and dinner at Moonsong Spire. A fun distraction with my friends and no Bastian.
Although he had the afternoon off ahead of a busy Solstice festival, he gave me space and went to Rose and Faolán’s. Meanwhile, I put the finishing touches to our suite and waited for Rose, Ella, Perry, and Ariadne to arrive.
I decorated the space with oversized playing cards and red, white, and black flowers from a florist near Kaliban’s. (I’d also taken the opportunity to drop off food for him and the new tin of shoe polish he’d requested.) I placed the last lemon tart on the cake stand, stirred the jug of fruit punch and stood back.
Too much food for five people.
Probably more decoration than a card party required.
But… I kind of didn’t care.
The frothy white hydrangeas made me smile. The card designs were silly—I’d copied them from the deck of cards we would play with tonight, but I’d added little touches that made the different characters look like people we knew. I hadn’t really thought about it when I’d made Bastian the King of Spades and me the Queen, but…
It still looked good. And tonight, I was going to have fun.
* * *
Ella squealedand begged to have the picture showing her as the Queen of Hearts. Perry laughed, especially when she found herself as the Knight of Diamonds. Ariadne cooed over the stack of macarons. And Rose stared at it all, smile the broadest I’d ever seen it.
As we sat with plates piled high with cakes (the best I’d ever eaten) and the golden-brown sausage rolls Rose had brought, Ella cleared her throat. “We need a toast.”
Rose paused with a sandwich halfway to her mouth. At Ella’s nod, she placed it back on her plate.
