Page 113 of A Touch of Poison
His mouth dropped open as he squinted. “Absolutely not. She killed you.”
“Only temporarily.”
“This time.” He tossed the report on the table. “What if your heart doesn’t restart next time? Not that there’s going to be one.”
I pursed my lips. Old Kat wouldn’t have dared risk it. Nothing that threatened survival. But… “Going around afraid to touch anyone is not living, Bastian.”
Sucking in a breath, he rose. His eyes were so wide, so fixed on me, I wasn’t sure he realised he moved. “It—it isn’t. But…” He shook his head. “She is out of control. And the fact you won’t tell me what else she’s done has me terrified—terrifiedthat it’s even worse.” His chest rose and fell like he fought to contain himself.
I squeezed the book to disguise my discomfort. I hadn’t told him about the memories I’d traded out of my mind. He’d berate me for being foolish enough to let someone in my head. But Kaliban had heard my thoughts whether I liked it or not—letting him wipe them away wasn’t revealing anything new. But it had given me a chance to live—andsleep—without the intrusion of unwanted memories.
I touched my chest, wincing. Bastian had given me a salve and dressings to stop my clothes rubbing on the raw skin, but it was still sore.
I needed a cure, but I didn’t need the memories of how it came about.
Bastian was already trying to stop the former. If I told him about the latter, he’d try to stop that, too. Then I really would lose my damn mind.
“It’s fine.” I gritted my teeth. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
Liar.It was his voice in my mind.
“Katherine.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know how to make you understand—”
“It’s my body.”
He stopped, mouth still open mid-sentence.
I raised my eyebrows. “You said it was always my choice.”
He exhaled, shoulders sinking. Giving in.
I didn’t just want him to give in, though. I needed him to understand. “I’ve suffered for far more pointless things than this. At least this has a purpose and Ichooseto endure it. I won’t be bound to you like this forever, Bastian. It isn’t fair on either of us.”
Lips pressed together, he clenched and unclenched his hands. After a moment, he threw them down at his sides and started towards me. “But I don’t want you to—”
A knock echoed through from the main door to the suite.
His eyes screwed shut as he called, “Enter.”
Brynan filed in, followed by Asher, Rose, Faolán, and a man with black hair that gleamed purple and blue when it caught the light.
The meeting. Of course. As part of bringing his work to the suite, Bastian had arranged for us all to gather here to discuss the Circle of Ash.
I gave a tight smile as Rose caught my eye and raised an eyebrow. Meanwhile, at her side, Faolán gave Bastian a similar, questioning look.
“This is Lysander.” Bastian ignored his shapechanging friend and gestured towards the stranger. “Better known as Ariadne’s husband.”
Lysander shot him a frown. “Thanks,” he drawled before approaching me and offering his hand and a smile that dimpled his cheeks. “Ari’s told me a lot about you.”
I looked from his hand to my gloved one. It was safe. I shook it, hoping my smile didn’t look too rictus. “And she’s told me all about you, too.”
It was sweet how smitten she clearly was with the fae who had “stolen” her, setting in motion Rose’s journey into Elfhame and subsequently meeting Faolán. Quite the chain reaction, the Night Queen had caused when she’d sent Lysander to enact the Tithe.
We sat and Bastian summoned tea and coffee with a word. Faolán poured coffee for Rose and himself before offering the pot to Lysander, who declined and produced a notebook from his pocket. I ran and fetched my notes, returning to find everyone seated and a space left on the settee next to Bastian.
“How’s Gael?” I asked Brynan while Bastian poured coffee for me and himself.
Much-needed coffee. I couldn’t get through the day without several cups, thanks to my nightmare-interrupted sleep.
