Page 60 of Lost
“I’m fine,” he assured her. “I just…don’t deal with the fans too well.”
Loralie nodded as if she understood. Maybe she did. She hung out with Marina on occasion; she must have seen similar things happen over time.
“Does it ever get better?”
The words slipped out before he had realised they were coming; the pitiful look that Loralie gave him made him want to take them back, and gave him all the answer that he needed.
“Not really,” she said anyway. “But you learn to handle it better. You’ll see.”
Lysander wasn’t so sure.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Zack couldn’t wait until this album was finally done. He always grew edgy as they got closer to the end of the recording process, knowing that accomplishment was right around the corner. He looked forward to release day, and he looked forward to going back on tour, but there was something more that lingered in the back of his mind this time: the knowledge that the album release did indeed mean a tour, and a tour meant leaving Lysander for the first time since they had met.
It was a thought that didn’t sit right with Zack. He had been intending to talk to his son about it for quite some time, but he never seemed to get around to it. And as he had glanced in the rear-view mirror on the drive to the studio and glimpsed the brilliant smiles on the faces of the two teenagers in the back seat, he had known that today was not the right time to bring it up. Today was all about keeping that smile on Lysander’s face and showing Eliza Beth a good time. News of the tour could come later. For now, they still had time.
Allowing Eliza Beth to come to the studio had been meant as a peace offering to his son, but she gave the reaction that Zack had been hoping to see all along.
She took in the studio as if it were her own personal Heaven. She looked on at the things that Zack had come to see as everyday objects and made them something special again, made them something to be excited about. It made Zack look at his day with new eyes. He forgot that he had been a recording musician for over a decade and looked about the room with wonder. When had all of this — the row of guitars along the far wall, the soundboard in the next room — become so everyday for him? He missed being able to walk into the room and get excited about the newness of it all.
He told her about all of the things that Lysander had shown no interest in — how the hardware in the recording studio was set up to work; how long it usually took them to get through a single song, an entire album. All the while Lysander trailed along behind them with a smile on his face, no doubt thrilled to see the pair of them so animated. If getting along with his girlfriend was all it was going to take to make Lysander happy, then that was exactly what Zack would do. But he couldn’t stop that one little thought in the back of his mind: the one that said the only way this could have been better would have been if it were Dakota in place of Eliza Beth.
He shook the thought from his mind quickly. There was no point in dwelling on it now.
To say that Axwell was stunned to find that he wasn’t the first one to arrive would have been an understatement. So surprised was he to see Zack already in the studio and excited for the day that he almost dropped the gear he had been carrying in from his car. He recovered quickly, and not five minutes later he had taken over from Zack and was patiently explaining to Eliza Beth what all of the knobs and switches on the soundboard were for.
Zack sunk down onto a couch where he could watch from a safe distance. Axwell seemed happy enough to have the attention of the two teenagers, even if one of them wasn’t taking in anything that he was saying, and he was such a good teacher that Zack had to wonder whether the man had ever considered it as a career path. If being a producer fell through, at least he would have a suitable back-up.
Unlike Zack himself, but he was long past having to worry about that.
It was just after nine-thirty when the rest of the band began to show. Pat and Chris were the first to roll up, the latter looking like he’d had a rough night, and Brendan and Aaron arrived not five minutes after them. All four were stunned to learn that Zack had been the first in the studio that morning, but they let the subject drop when they realised what the cause for it had been. After that it was best behaviour from them all.
Zack let Lysander make the introductions, and it warmed his heart to hear his son refer to the rest of the band as his uncles. It was like hearing the word “Dad” come out of his mouth for the first time all over again — and that was something Zack knew he would never grow tired of hearing. He had always thought that it would be something strange, being called Dad when he had spent his entire life giving the title to somebody else, but it made him happy. It was something that he loved.
Axwell had to call his name three times to snap him out of the daydream he had fallen into.
It had been a long while since Zack had felt nervous in the studio, but under the watchful eyes of Lysander and Eliza Beth he could feel it rising up within him. He had to force himself to look down at his guitar, to focus on what he was supposed to be playing and not who was watching him. Even without glancing up he knew that the rest of the guys were laughing at him. They would know he was nervous — it showed in the way his hands shook as he positioned them.
He shouldn’t have been nervous. He played in front of thousands on a regular basis. But there was something about the thought of screwing up in front of his son that made him feel a lack of self-confidence. He wanted to be the best for his boy in every aspect of his life, especially the one where he was supposed to be a professional. To royally screw up in front of him, and with his girlfriend around no less, would have been a disaster.
So it was a very good thing that Zack was good at what he did.
When he was finally permitted to step back out of the recording booth, he found that Aaron had taken up the job of entertaining the two teens. He was telling the pair about what it had been like for him to step into a band as an outsider when the rest of them had known each other almost their entire lives — a story that Lysander had already heard and taken comfort in, and one that Eliza Beth seemed to find interesting.
Pat was off in the far corner, head bowed over a notebook and a pen in his hand. Refining the day’s lyrics, no doubt. The look on his face said that he didn’t want to be interrupted, so Zack took a right and sat with Brendan instead.
Brendan had his guitar in his lap, but it looked as though he had long since given up playing it. His eyes were across the room, on Lysander and Eliza Beth.
“What do you think?”
Brown eyes glanced Zack’s way and then were gone again. And instead of an answer he received a question: “What doyouthink?”
“I like her. She makes him happy.”
Brendan didn’t say anything.
“All right.” Axwell clapped his hands together and gave them a quick rub. “A little fine-tuning with the vocals, and then we’ll have a final product to listen through.”
