Page 45 of Wildfire
“The only person who knows you’re not confident is you” is something he said to me to be confident with women, but I’m currently applying that to everyone, and surprisingly, it’s working. Unnecessary worry is a mentally exhausting process, and by definition, there’s no logic to it. All it does is make me feel alone, even when I’m surrounded by people.
The team has settled into a comfortable routine with all our campers, and Aurora and I have settled into a comfortable routine when we’re not with the kids. Every time I walk her back to her cabin it gets harder not to kiss her good night, especially when she looks like she’s thinking about it, too, but I’m grateful for her making an effort to keep us out of trouble.
I think I’m grateful.
I’m enjoying breakfast with Emilia when the woman always on my mind comes stomping toward us. She sits down beside her bestfriend and huffs. “Never again. I mean it. I will pay. I will fake my own death. I don’t care about the consequences.”
Hiding my laugh with my coffee mug, I check over my shoulder to make sure there are no listening ears from the kids still eating breakfast. Xander sits down beside me, his plate suspiciously loaded with bacon. I lean in, whispering, “Stop feeding the dogs.”
He keeps looking at his plate as he shakes his head. “You’re not my mom. I don’t have to listen to you.”
“Surely it wasn’t bad,” Emilia says to a still scowling Aurora, also fighting a laugh.
All our campers sleep in one cabin and we each take turns sleeping in there to supervise overnight a couple of times a week. There’s always a senior like Jenna available overnight for emergencies, so as long as your kids aren’t acting up, it’s easy.
Maya was feeling sick yesterday, so Aurora volunteered to cover the night shift, incorrectly thinking she would be with Xander. When she realized she would be with Clay, she looked like the world was ending.
Yeah, petty me was happy about that.
“Sure it was bad, Emilia,” she grumbles. “He told me he doesn’t mind cuddling if I’m scared of the dark. I know he’s joking, but he’s so much funnier when he’s not trying to be funny.”
Emilia’s eyes roll. “What did you say?”
“I told him I sleep stab.” I almost choke on my coffee. “Which I thought was the end of it, but he started telling me it sounded like there was something under my bed and for me to wait on his while he investigated.”
“You gotta admire the creativity,” Xander says. “Being a douche bag is difficult in this day and age, but here he is, hustling.”
Aurora’s eyes lock on him murderously. “Jessica was coming to ask me to get her teddy that’d fallen down the side of her bed and overheard Clay joke that it could be a murderer under there and shestarted screaming. Then everyone else started screaming. I’m surprised you didn’t freaking hear it. My ears are still ringing. It took, like, two hours to get everybody back into bed and calmed down.”
“I slept like a baby,” Xander says, taking a bite of his toast.
“I didn’t. You snore,” I grumble into my coffee.
“Damn,” Emilia laughs. “I just thought the kids were all tired and gloomy because of how long the line is to call home for Father’s Day.”
My shoulders instantly sag; it’s Sunday.
Aurora looks like she was told she has to pair with Clay again and I feel the same. It’s a day. I know it’s just a day, but it’s one that feels extra loud and extra in your face when you don’t have a good relationship with your dad.
One of the activities earlier in the week was making Father’s Day cards for the kids to send home, and even though I knew it was coming, I still feel caught off guard.
Xander starts laughing. “Easiest way to work out who has daddy issues. Tell them it’s Father’s Day. What a bonding moment for us all.”
“Speak for yourself,” Emilia quips. “My dad is the best guy I know.”
“And I, just this second, decided not to spiral today, so share your misery with someone else, thank you very much,” Rory adds, giving him a sweet smile. “I will spiral later, alone, like a regular person. Or if I’m feeling really adventurous, I’ll bottle it up and bury it deep down, letting it erupt at a much later, more inconvenient time.”
“What can we do today with the kids?” I ask, changing the topic to avoid being dragged into this conversation too much. “What do they love the most?”
“Paint dodgeball,” Xander and Rory say in unison.
Her eyebrow raises as Xander whispers, “Did we just become best friends?”
Aurora grabs herself breakfast while we work out what we needand Clay and Maya join us, immediately on board with our plan. Sundays are usually pretty chilled out; after a week of constantly scheduled activities everyone’s tired, so we plan more low-key days and it means everyone has energy for the Sunday barbecue and evening event, which is usually movie night or a show.
Nothing sounds low-key about paint and dodgeball being in the same sentence.
When everything’s arranged, Xander and I take the kids back to their room to clean up for the inspection. Brown Bears are currently in the lead in the camp rankings, which my colleagues have attributed to me and my need to keep things tidy.
