Page 60 of Unrealistic Expectations

“We’re all suffering because we’re not communicating with each other and being present with one another on a human level.”

One of the other hosts nodded. “So you’re saying that the straights are not okay?”

The audience laughed, and Jessica nodded. “No. No, we are not.”

The hosts threw to commercial, and Jessica got offstage as soon as possible. When she got back to the greenroom, Galvin wrapped her in a hug. She hesitated, for just a moment. As she was talking about dating in general onstage, she’d realized something. Even though Galvin had fucked up once, he’d treated her with the utmost care at every other time. The truth was that there was nothing he could have done that night that would have helped. She’d needed to process and hadn’t told Galvin what she needed. She was just as much at fault here.

She let herself fully surrender to Galvin’s embrace. It felt so good. He smelled so good. He was home. She’d thought she’d found home in another person before, but she hadn’t. She’d always been changing herself to fit the picture of who Luke had wanted. Galvin was the first person in her life who cared about what she wanted.

“I’m sorry that I freaked out in front of you,” she said into his jacket. “It really wasn’t about you.”

He pulled back. “It was, a little bit.”

“I’m serious.” She balled up the lapel of his jacket in her fist. “If we’re going to make this work long-term, we have to be honest with each other and we have to listen to each other. I shouldn’t have made such a big deal over Luke cheating on me in front of you, and I should have been able to listen to why it upset you that I was so upset.”

“I shouldn’t have gotten up my own ass. I wasn’t there for you in the way that you needed, and I thought you got so upset about Luke because I wasn’t important to you.” He brushed her hair out of her face and over her ear. “I panicked. Because I love you.”

“You love me?” Her eyes got big again.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

She let the words settle into her mind. Galvin Baker loved her. She loved him, too. He wasn’t the person she’d pictured spending her life with, but she couldn’t imagine sharing it with anyone else but him.

“I love you, too.”

He laughed. “You sound confused by that.”

“That’s probably because I am confused by the fact that I love you.”

“I mean, it’s not like a scary diagnosis.”

“Yes, it is.”

He released her and took a few steps back. “You’re in love with me, but you’re scared of being in love with me?”

Jessica moved toward him and grabbed his hand. “No.” He visibly relaxed. “I just know that this time, I don’t just think I’m in love. I know it, down to my very bones. It’s part of me. And no matter what happens, a part of me will always love you.”

“I’m scared, too. And I don’t know how to do this.”

Jessica laughed a little. “I don’t know how to do this, either, and I’m supposed to be the expert.”

He took her back into his arms. “Then, I think the only thing to do is figure it out together.”

“Like partners.” Jessica had finally found what she was looking for, and it may not have come in the package she’d expected, but it felt right.

“And lovers.” He ran his nose up the side of her neck. “We can’t forget that.”

As per usual, his touch made her lose her mind a little. He made her lose her past and he took her heart.

“I promise not to freak out again.”

“I don’t need you to make that promise.” She pulled his head up and kissed him, hungrily and deeply. It lasted a long time, long enough for the taping to end and production staff to flood the halls with noise. When one of them came in the door, they broke their kiss. Then, her stomach growled.

“Time for lunch,” he said. “What do you want?”

“Surprise me.”