Page 86 of Filth: An Erotic Daddy Dom Romance
Hours eventually turned into days, and I was already on day four with no communication whatsoever from my love.
TAYLOR POV:
Off. On. Off. On. Off…darkness.
It was becoming personal habit to sit alone in the dark. There was sense in it. My mind always felt free, uncomplicated, and clear. Suddenly the world around me wasn’t the abysmal place I deep down secretly feared. When it was light, I was reminded of the life I used to know, the life I miserably found myself now living again.
I cried ugly the entire week. And I was so exhausted now there were no tears left anymore to cry.
I sat looking glum in a heavy wave of enervation around my dingy little room at the shelter, with no clue what would become of me when the $80 cash I gave them to keep me housed with board included, eventually ran out.
That was all the cash I had on my person, reluctantly leaving everything Hudson ever gave me behind, in my pained hurt to erase all memory of him
I didn’t see it as being stubborn, rather I felt it selfish to leave with what material things he’d gave me, and yet leave behind his heart. I had no choice but to walk away from it all because it’s as I always told him, I was nobody’s charity.
I know he was probably searching for me like crazy right now, I could feel it in my heart, but I was powerless to fight the decision I’d made because it was the right one. I knew he’d probably come checking round the shelters for me, which is why I was careful to only exit and enter if and when really needed, typically to get myself a few snacks with what little in change I had left, outside of official eating times at the shelter.
Lucky for me, most of the staff there already knew who I was, and after making clear my request not to divulge information of my whereabouts to anyone who came by asking, I was promised the words ‘’I’m sorry, but we don’t have anyone registered by that name’’ was all a passer-by would get from them.
To say I hated being back here was the understatement of the decade! The dingy bed, the god-awful stank room, the rundown wallpaper, the diarrhea-stained communal bathrooms, ugh!
I felt sick. Sicker than sick.
To go from this to the luxurious life I lived when I was with him, and then back again, was just too much for my mind to cope with right now. But at least I was my own boss here, and as uncomfortable as all this was, there was no looming dark cloud over me making me nervous as to when, and how, I may be asked to answer certain questions about myself.
I’d tasted his world, and in it had lived my best-ever life. But sadly I had to return to my world, because the man I wasn’t expecting to, but over time ended up falling in love with, had broken my heart by betraying my trust in the worst possible way…he’d lied to me.
With a heavy sigh, I took my beat-up old phone out and sat looking boredly through it. That, along with the clothes I’d arrived in -which were all still nice and clean after Hudson had washed them for me that first day- I’d thankfully kept in a small duffel bag at the bottom of my side of his walk-in closet. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t bring myself to throw them away, we’d been through so much together.
Looking bored still through my phone, I sat remembering the first day and a half here doing nothing but fiddle around with the battery, until finally getting it working again…only to see that fucking article staring me again in the face, as my phone opened up on the last app I’d been using, Tazer.
Everything I’d shared with him that night when exchanging our stories together, along with everything in between, was information of the utmost confidence that I’d entrusted him with. That meant something to me, the fact I felt so close to someone to open up and share what I’d kept hidden for years. And then just like that, he exposed my story for the entire fucking world to see. Betrayal didn’t even come close to how I felt right now.
Not only was my miserable homeless life slandered all across his social app for every press to tear apart and mock at will, but also my private affairs on a man I gave my love and my innocence to.
I still remember the shock I was in waking up the wee hours of the following morning, after our naughty dress-up fun the night before, and tiptoeing quietly into the kitchen to get myself a cold soda from out the fridge. While there, I’d lazily checked my phone for messages after noticing it left on the side…that’s when my eyes saw the massive headline reading ‘’PITTIFUL’’ on the Tazer app.
Unsure yet in my sleepy daze whether it was real, or just a random odd dream I was having, I sluggishly made my way through the darkened living room and sat down on the couch, rubbing the toe I stubbed against the coffee table on the way with one hand, and flipping open the article on my phone again with the other.
I read the entire thing word by word, beginning to end, feeling more and more awake, and more and more hurt the more I read. By the end of it my mind was completely made up, and I knew Hudson would wake in a few hours to a completely empty apartment.
I never wanted to leave.
It tore my heart out placing my old rags back on and leaving everything I now loved behind me…including the man of my dreams. I took no material things with me, not even the beautiful diamond bracelet gift he’d given me at the mansion. The only things I took with me were the memories, my birth certificate, driver’s licence, and SSN card, and….a single picture of him which I'd snapped on my beat-up old phone while he slept, before lightly placing a kiss upon his cheek, and exiting the apartment quietly with my hoodie over my head.
I sat looking now at the picture I’d taken of him, tracing my finger lightly over his face as tears fast filled my eyes, from how much my heart already missed him.
I remember feeling those same sting of tears when pausing with doubt by the elevator of the Fairmont Olympic Hotel, my finger hovered above the button after quietly exiting out the apartment suite, with my thoughts all daring off against each other, in a virtual Russian Roulette as to whether I should stay or go. From day one he never judged me. Never undermined my self-worth or belittled me on account of the poor life I lived…so doesn’t he too deserve a second chance?
I’ve no doubt he did, but alas too much damage had been done. And as painful as it all was, I knew I had to leave before I said something I may regret.
I know Hudson himself didn’t publish the article directly, as he too had been heavily implicated in its slander. But someone close to him had, and I knew exactly who that someone was…
The ‘gold digging whore’ I was labeled towards the end of the article, one hundred percent came from the revenged anger of a jealous woman. I was named a ‘whore’ by her at the party, and a ‘whore’ overall for stealing her man.
He’d obviously told Jessica all about me, and while yes, he had made clear to her that he loved me, that love wasn’t enough to prevent him speaking with his ex of how dis-privileged my past was.
I guess she filled in her own blanks after that and got the rich payoff she always felt she was due, by selling her twisted version of our relationship to the fucking press.
