Page 96 of Unhinged Kallie

“She looked like I was forcing her to have sex. She would turn her head away and yell to spank her, so I did, but the tears started when she turned back toward the camera.”

“Fuck, that’s devious. Then she could blackmail you for rape when you were making millions.”

“That’s my assumption.”

“So what did you do?”

“I pretended to cry and told them I didn’t want my future ruined. I’ve been paying five hundred a month since.”

My mouth hung open. “What? Why would you pay them?

“Why not? While there, I gathered more information on other students, teachers, famous athletes, and others from the area. The more you know….”

“The more power you have,” I finished for him.

“Exactly. Besides, I always planned on killing them and taking everything, but I was biding my time. You wanting to kill her pushed up my timeline,” Troy said but didn’t seem angry.

“You don’t care that I’m ruining your plans?”

Troy looked over at me and lifted his eyebrow, just like my dad. I wanted to smack the look right off his face. Fucking replica.

Sucking in a deep breath, I decided to say something I never thought I would have the guts to voice. “I’ve hated you most of my life,” I said, and Troy’s placid expression didn’t change.

“I know you don’t care, just like my dad wouldn’t care, but I needed you to know. I hate that you’re so much like him. I hate looking into your eyes, seeing him, and knowing I’ll never compare or match up. I hate that I’ve competed against you my entire life, and whatever I do, you find a way to do it better. Even tonight. I’ve been watching and stalking this teacher for over a year, and you were already in her house, literally in her pussy.” I shook my head. “I’ve just decided I can’t hate you anymore. I’ve accepted that I can’t be like you or my dad because I need to be me, even if I never stack up to you.”

I turned and looked out the window and watched as a couple of vehicles passed, their headlights illuminating the car yet doing nothing to brighten my mood. There was no telling when I came to this realization. I needed to be okay with it, or I would go insane.

“May I give you a piece of advice?”

My jaw twitched, and my inner rage that I kept a tight hold on was ready for whatever he happened to say to make me feel worse.

“Sure.”

“When you live in a house of flies, be the spider.” I wasn’t expecting that. I looked at his profile, and he darted his gaze at me. “Do you understand?”

“No.”

“What you fail to understand, cousin, is that I’m jealous of you.” Confusion ignited inside of me. How, why, and when had Troy ever been jealous of me? He always seemed unaffected by everything.

“What you deem to be a power of strength in your father and me is actually a weakness.”

“I don’t understand what you mean?”

“Kallie, I will never truly know love like you or Carter. The passion you share is a mystery to me. The affectionate touches, tears of joy, jealousy, and even the true longing of prolonged separation, none of it affects me or your father the same way. We will never feel so passionately or with burning emotion about anything. I will not weep at my mother’s grave. I will not sing or feel enlightenment. I will not stand in the sun and appreciate the day like you. We control, plan, and manipulate because the power and certainty for the outcome we desire is what matters most.”

“But the two of you always seem content, in control, and pleased with your accomplishments. I’ve also seen my dad cry over my mom’s death.”

“Does he cry over her death and feel it like you do?”

I bit my lip, wanting to say yes, yet knowing that if he couldn’t love me the same way, he couldn’t feel sadness the same way.

“Do not paint us with the brush of what you feel. Your father believes that most people with emotions end up sheep, and he is right, but you break that mold. You walk your own path, feel what you want, and make no apologies for it. You take what you want and aren’t callous in your decisions. You’re the best of all of us, cousin. You feel everything this world has to offer with all you have. You fight for those you love. You may not crave to kill in the same way your dad and I do, but you have found a path far more noble. Never be jealous of a fly when you’re already the spider. Spin your web and own being the queen of what you are and all you can become.”

I choked back the tears and couldn’t stop staring at him. In every conversation I had over the years with my dad, I never saw or understood what he was telling me. He saw me and wanted me to be the best version of myself. Flashes of training sessions came at me, and words of wisdom that I thought were spoken for Troy but were aimed at me.

“Feel it all, Angel. Feel the anger burning in your chest and control it.”

Why didn’t I recognize this before? Was I so wrapped up in my insecurities that I couldn’t see the truth right before my eyes?