Page 15 of Twelve Days of Temptation (Temptation 1)
You there?
Did you get my gift, Kate?
I did. I didn’t open it. I haven’t decided yet if I will.
You will, Kate.
We need to talk. I have something I need to say to you. And you need to listen. If you tell me you don’t care how I feel about this, this will be the last time we ever speak. I mean it.
Mr. Elf took his time answering, but when he did his text read: I’m listening.
The first couple times we were together, it was fun. But yesterday, I felt worse after being with you instead of better. I need time to think before I agree to continue this. When Mr. Elf didn’t respond, Kate texted: Do you even care how I feel?
Kate, you didn’t ask for a relationship, you asked for a good old-fashioned, mind-blowing fuck.
I did. But you crossed the line when you involved someone else in our game. I don’t care how fucked up I am in my own head, I won’t take it out on someone else.
What are you saying, Kate? You care about that guy?
I do, too much to be talked into doing anything that would ever hurt him.
Are you telling me you want to fuck him more than you want to play with me?
No. I’m telling you I need time to think. You can keep sending me gifts, but I won’t open them. Not today. Maybe not tomorrow. I have to clear my head. I have to figure out what I want. I’ll text you when I do.
As always, it’s your choice, Kate.
Yes, it is my choice. I finally see that.
Kate put the prepaid phone on the counter next to the unopened gift and walked away from both. She wasn’t ready to close the door on either, but she’d meant what she’d said about needing time to sort things out.
She went upstairs to her mother’s bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed. She remembered begging her mother to stay with her even when she knew her mother was ready to pass. She’d turned a blind eye to the signs that her husband was cheating until they had become too obvious to ignore. Neither situation had been within her control, and that realization had terrified her.
Everything she loved about her life could be ripped away from her, and there was nothing she could do about it. She let her feelings from both experiences wash over her. Helpless. Angry. Ashamed she hadn’t been a stronger person in either situation.
But I’m not helpless.
I’m not weak.
Her time with Mr. Elf had proven something else to her: It takes two to make a boring sex life. She’d found more sexual satisfaction in her short time with a stranger on a cell phone than she had in her entire marriage. Kate didn’t regret a single moment she’d spent with whoever Mr. Elf was. He’d opened her eyes to the joys of fantasy and the pleasure she could find in her own body.
He’d encouraged her to test her boundaries, to leave her comfort level behind, and that was a philosophy she was determined to adopt in other areas of her life. He’d also taught her that giving up control as part of a game was exciting, but giving it up for real was something she wasn’t willing to ever do again.
I can never go back to who I was before, and that’s a good thing.
Her mother had always told her a lady doesn’t fight.
You were wrong, Mom.
Sometimes even ladies have to kick a little ass.
It’s time for me to figure out what I want. Not what you wanted for me, Mom. Not what Wayne, or the man who found my Christmas wish, thought I wanted. It’s not up to you or to them.
How I live and how I feel—it’s my choice.
I won’t leave this town just because people here don’t like me. I’m going to pack up your stuff, Mom, but not until I’m ready to. And I’m not ready yet. There is not a single part of you I’m willing to give, or throw, away. Deal with it.
Kate stood and walked to the door. I know you wanted more for me than you had, Mom. For some reason, you thought I would find that if I married someone with money. I understand you wanted me to be happy, and I’m sorry I didn’t fit into the life you’d hoped I’d live.
She looked down at the navy pants she’d put on that morning without thinking. I don’t know where I’ll end up, but I need to find what makes me happy, Mom.
She closed the door behind her and went in search of her phone. She dialed it and said, “Angie, I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me today.”
“I’d love to,” Angie said in a gush. “Let me get the boys ready. Come on over. I’m so glad you called. I need some fresh air—I’m going crazy inside my house.”
“Me, too,” Kate said and smiled. “Me, too.”
***
Brock was miserable all day at work. He yelled at his site manager when he heard there would be a delay in the flooring for the main building’s basketball court. He yelled at his sister when she came in to see why he was in such a bad mood. She’d left looking more concerned than angry, which only made him feel worse.
And he already felt bad enough.
He’d fucked up, and he knew it. He had taken the game too far. His original plan had been to have an exciting fantasy with her via the phone while getting to know her as himself. In his mind he had imagined revealing the game to her on the twelfth day. He thought if he played everything just right she would realize he was much more than the nice guy she had always seen. They might have even laughed about the whole thing.
Yesterday, when he’d sensed his plan was falling apart, he’d panicked and gone too far. When she had told him she could never love a man who lied to her, he’d realized he could never tell her the truth. He had been blindsided when she told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. He had strategized that, if he escalated their fantasy, it would make a nice guy suddenly seem like a better option.
And to be honest, the power of knowing she would do whatever he asked had gone to his head—and his cock. Their game was fun, more exciting than anything he’d done before, and he hadn’t wanted it to end. She’d been crying before he arrived. He should have thought more about how she felt than about what his dick wanted. He should have called their game off for one night. Maybe he should’ve confessed and admitted to her that his game had really only been about wanting to be with her. Instead, he put his needs ahead of hers and because of that, he might have lost her.
She wasn’t happy with Brock or Mr. Elf.
What the fuck do I do now?
He ended his workday early and went to Kate’s house. She wasn’t home so he sat on the front steps and waited. He was cold and uncomfortable, but he wasn’t leaving until he spoke to her.
He stood when he saw her walking down the street. She approached him cautiously, both hands tucked in the pockets of her short jacket. “I couldn’t stay away, Kate. There is something I have to tell you.” She looked at him with the sweetest, largest blue eyes he’d ever seen, and he’d never felt more like an ass than he did in that moment. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He stepped closer to her. “I did everything wrong. You were upset, and I was a selfish prick.”
She shrugged again. “I’ve met worse. In fact, I just divorced one.” She smiled sadly. “That joke sounded funnier in my head.” She met his eyes and said, “I was just as much at fault for yesterday as you were. Coming home has been strange for me. I’m sorry if I’m sending you mixed signals.”
“I like you, Kate.”
“I like you, too, but . . .”
“Does it have to be more complicated than that?”
She brought a hand up to her lips as if remembering his kiss. “I meant what I said yesterday, Brock. I’m so confused. I feel like I let my life get out of control, and I n
eed to find my footing again. That’s not a good time to start seeing someone. Trust me, I’m much more fucked up than I look.”
Brock sat down on her steps. “You think you’re the only one? I’m a fucking mess on the inside. I just hide it beneath this handsome face and amazing smile.”
Kate reluctantly returned his smile and sat down beside him. “You do have a nice smile.”
“You should see my other parts. It’s too cold to show you my favorite one right now. You wouldn’t get the best impression of it.” He glanced at her and wiggled his eyebrows.
She laughed. “Keep it in your pants, buddy.”
He rounded his eyes as if her comment shocked him. “I was referring to my six-pack abs that are ghostly white in the winter. What did you think I meant?”
Kate shook her head and laughed again. “I guess I have a dirty mind.”
Pretending to be serious, Brock said, “I have never considered that a fault in a woman.”
“Thank you for coming over yesterday when you knew I was upset.”
“I’ll always come when you need me, Kate. I care about you.” As he said the words, he realized how much he meant them.
Kate picked a leaf off the bush beside her and folded it carefully again and again. “I don’t know what there’s been to like lately.”
For the first time since he’d read her letter, his desire to hold her had nothing to do with wanting to have sex with her. He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. “Do you remember the first summer we met? Before you, I couldn’t understand why anyone would hang out with a girl. But we had fun, didn’t we? It didn’t matter how different we were. Being with you made me happy. I missed you after that summer.”
