Page 20 of Taking Charge (Lone Star Burn 4)
“Whoa, wait. First, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that was what your new business was. I write romances. Why do you think that would shock me?”
“You haven’t seen some of these toys.”
“Exactly. Research. And, second, how do you know David wouldn’t be into them?”
Sarah’s really okay with it. Is it possible that I’m the only who is shocked by what I’m trying to sell? The only one who is embarrassed? No wonder I left Mavis. When I’m here, I feel like I have to be the daughter my parents thought I was. I have to find my way back to not seeing myself through their eyes.
“Is Tony into toys?”
“Not really, but he would be if I wore the right outfit and asked him to be. You have to give David a chance. He wouldn’t leave over something like that.”
And there it was, the reason Lucy was so afraid to move forward with David. “I don’t know if I could handle another person leaving me, Sarah.” Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “It’s why I have trouble leaning on people. If I don’t need you, I won’t be devastated if you leave, too.”
“Oh, Lucy. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know. At least my head knows, but I never pictured myself alone like this. I had a family, and it was a good one. I thought it was, anyway. I loved Rhode Island. Life was fun, full, good. Then my dad died. I felt like I’d lost a quarter of my heart. Then I moved back here to help my mom, but what good did that do? And then Steven left. Every time something went wrong, I told myself to stay positive. All I had to do was be strong and keep going, but something happened inside me when Steven left, too. I can’t explain it. I want to hide from the world, but I feel so alone when I do. Horribly, utterly alone. I used to know what to do. Now, I don’t know who to trust, what to believe.”
“You. Are. Not. Alone. And David really cares about you. You have to know that.”
“I want to believe he does.”
“He stuck by Tony at his worst. If that didn’t run him off, nothing will.”
“I’m scared, Sarah. I don’t like feeling this way. I never used to be afraid of anything. How do I get back to being that person?”
Sarah was quiet for a bit. “I don’t think anyone ever gets ‘back’ after they’ve experienced loss. It’s terrifying when you realize how little of your life you’re in control of, that, at any moment, you could lose anyone or anything you love, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”
“You think that way, too? You’re always so happy.”
Sarah sighed. “Of course I do, but I use that knowledge to make me stronger. What’s the alternative? Giving up? Wallowing in the past? I could have been that person, but I refused to be. When I accepted how temporary everything is, something beautiful happened. I started to see time as a gift. Every day I have with Tony is a day I am thankful for. I can’t think about what will happen if it ends. I can’t spend every day worrying that he might die or leave me for someone else. We want to have children. I won’t be able to enjoy them if I’m constantly afraid of losing them like I lost my little brother. I don’t want to live like that. Happiness is a decision to believe that we’re more than this—that despite what we know, being here is worth it. It’s a little like believing in Santa Claus. Once you know the truth, you never go back to waiting up to catch him come down the chimney, but you believe in the spirit of him, so the magic continues.”
She makes it sound so easy, just as she’s always made life look. But she’s experienced loss, too. She had issues with her family and survived them. All I have to do is believe? I wish I could snap my fingers and do that. “Should I tell David about my business?”
“Have you been on a date yet?”
“No.”
“Then I’d hold off on that. Let the man woo you a little before you bring out the dildos. Hey, that’s a great line. I may use that in a book.”
It was difficult to do anything but smile when talking to Sarah. “Thanks, Sarah. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too. Now, when are you coming?”
“Mason is flying us in this morning.”
“Is he? He is so cool.”
“What should I take to wear? Is any part of the weekend going to be formal?”
“I don’t think so. Pack a dress if you want, but you’re so tiny, you can fit into any of our clothes if you need something.”
A knock on the downstairs door made Lucy jump to her feet. “That must be David. I have to run.”
“Tell him I said hello.”
“I will.”
Lucy sprinted down the stairs and opened the door. This time she wasn’t afraid of the passion she saw blazing in David’s gaze as it raked over her. “Sorry, I was talking to Sarah about what I should wear.”
A slow, I-like-your-choice smile spread across his face. “And you decided to keep it simple?”
Lucy looked down and realized she was still only in her bra and panties. While turning three shades of pink, she turned and bolted up the stairs. “Oh my God, I’ll be right back.”
“No rush,” he called back with humor.
A few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a blouse, Lucy returned with a small piece of luggage. David grinned at her. She waved a finger in his direction. “We will pretend that never happened. I’m ready now.”
“I’m not,” he said, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her like a man who was returning home and couldn’t get enough of the woman he’d missed. She dropped her luggage at her feet, and her arms went up to circle his neck. His tongue plundered her mouth mercilessly, and she opened wider for the claiming. He pulled her against him, molded her to him, crushing her against his erection.
When he lifted his head and rested his chin on her forehead, his heart beat under her ear as wildly as hers. “You taste too damn good,” he growled.
You too. Lucy stood stiffly in his arms, wishing she could turn off her head and let herself simply enjoy him. I want to believe—in myself, in him, in happily ever afters. In a husky voice, she said, “We should go.”
David nuzzled her neck. “You’re right. Everyone is excited to see us. They’ve been calling all morning. That mattered to me—before you answered the door.”
Lucy pulled back from him. Even though she wanted to give in to how she was feeling, she thought about what Sarah had asked her earlier. They didn’t have a relationship. Not a normal one. He’d never asked her out on a date. She knew very little about him. All they had so far was an attraction neither one of them had proven successful at denying. “I need you to know that just because I said yes to the trip doesn’t mean that—that I am saying yes to anything else.”
He studied her face for a moment, then said quietly, “We can take this as slowly as you need to. Come on, we have a plane to catch.” He held out his hand to her.
Lucy put hers in his and felt a jolt of pleasure at how natural it felt. They walked together to David’s truck. Lucy watched his expression for a sign that he was displeased with her, but he was smiling. So many other men would have been frustrated with her. David was confident but patient. He wasn’t shy about what he wanted, but he cared about how she felt. Lucy had doubted men like him existed, but here he was. Not only was he good-looking, smart, and kind; he was also openly interested in her.
Good things can happen—if I believe they can.
Right?
It’s supposed to be that simple.
He caught her looking at him and paused before starting the ignition. “What is it?”
Focus on the positive—the part of the experience that feels like a gift. She didn’t have the words to articulate everything she was feeling, so she said, “You’re a pretty amazing man, David.”
He shot her a smile that set her heart beating double time again. “You
ain’t seen nothing yet, darlin’.”
As they drove to the airport, David kept the conversation light. They talked about Wyatt, his family, and how happy her manager looked now that he was working on her ranch again. They discussed the clear weather and how it was nice to be flying out on such a beautiful day. He could see Lucy relaxing the more they spoke.
Taking Lucy back to Fort Mavis would be good for her. She had a tendency to withdraw and hide. She did it with him, but also with her friends. She hadn’t left her house once in the past week. That wasn’t healthy. He knew all about hiding and how a person’s life could get smaller and smaller until it was suffocated. And, if I am being honest with myself, I’ve done my share of hiding. I keep adding layers of good deed on top of good deed, but does a lifetime of good wash away a person’s mistakes—even if those mistakes cost someone’s life? David pushed those thoughts back.
Lucy needed to get out of her house and away from that ranch. She needed to surround herself with people who cared about her. He’d known plenty of men who pulled their women away from the people they loved. Isolating women made them easier to manipulate. David had no respect for such men. No person or creature should ever stay somewhere because they were too broken to leave.
Lucy said she wanted to save her ranch, but David was no longer sure she should. She wasn’t happy there. Anyone could see that. If she had female friends there, he hadn’t heard about them, and they weren’t rushing forward to help her.
Away from that ranch, Lucy might flourish—find the easy smile Sarah said she used to have. David considered himself a good judge of people and horses. He looked for a spark in their eyes. If it was there, he knew there was more to them than whatever they were presenting. He’d rescued many haggard horses and sold them a year later in stunning condition.
Lucy was far from haggard, but when she thought no one was watching, her expression was one of a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Like a mustang kept in a tiny corral for too long, she’s forgotten how to run free.
He smiled and wondered what Lucy would think of being compared to a horse. She might not take it as the compliment it was intended to be.
