"Maybe hang out once in a while too?" He curled a brow suggestively.
"As long as you don't bring Lucas."
"Deal." He smiled widely at me, making my crumbled heart piece back together a bit.
"Thank you, Leo."
"What for?" He furrowed his brow as he pulled up to the front of Hailey's apartment building.
"For this. For taking me home and listening to my problems." I leaned over, kissing his cheek before getting down. I giggled as I saw his cheeks flush for a moment. It would appear Leo is the innocent type, despite his current look. He cleared his throat before he spoke.
"Anytime, Olive." He smiled at me again. Such a sweet smile.
"Call me Liv," I told him before stepping out of the car. I want to reclaim my nickname from the memories of Julius. Refusing to let him ruin that for me, too.
"Okay, Liv. Text me when you've made it inside your apartment, so I know you're home safe," he told me, as I closed the door. I nodded my head at him through the window. My phone buzzed as Leo drove away. The name on the caller ID brought all kinds of mixed emotions. What does he want now?
My dad's name continued to flash across my screen as he called. It surprised me to see him call me so late. It wasn't like him to be up at this hour. The timing caused me to worry, making my mind race with worst-case scenarios. I swiped the green call receive button as I entered the building.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Livie, are you okay?" His voice sounded so concerned.
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." I furrowed my brow in confusion as I pushed the elevator button. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"It's your mother." I froze stiffly at the mention of her name. I understood why she had left dad, but I never understood why she had left me, too. She never called, sent letters, or even tried to visit me. She abandoned me like bad luggage, which I guess to her I was. The mention of her made my chest tighten.
"What about her?" I bit my cheek nervously, as the anticipation built inside me for his answer.
"She's sick, Livie… cancer." He sighed. "She called me, wanting to speak with you. She's in a hospital in Brooklyn, in hospice. You need to go see her."
The world seemed to stop all around me. My chest felt so tight it was as if an elephant were sitting on top of it. The air was escaping me and forgetting to return. I know I haven't spoken to her in over a decade now, but it doesn't mean I don't still love her. I'd even thought of trying to find her recently. Never did I expect she would be dying.
"Did you hear me, Livie?"
"Yeah, I heard you, dad. Text me the hospital details and I'll see her tomorrow." I somehow made my voice work again.
"I will. I am sorry, Livie. It's all my fault." Dad's guilt was well placed, seeing as he's the reason she left us to begin with. Of course, he didn't cause her cancer, but he made me miss having a mother around during my formative teen years, when you need your mother the most.
"I'll talk to you later, Dad. Goodnight." I ignored his admission of guilt completely, because I certainly would not comfort him about this.
"Goodnight."
The nurse showed me the way to mom's room. I had stopped by the gift shop on the way up as if it were calling me to make more poor decisions. I stupidly bought a stuffed bear with the words ‘get better’ scribbled on its heart. She's literally in hospice, which means there is no ‘getting better’. I didn't notice when I got it the heart actually said something, but now it's too late as the nurse is opening the door to her room.
I swallowed hard, entering the cold, feeling the need to grab a jacket. The hospital air was stale and frigid, carrying the scent of rubber gloves, antiseptic, and rubbing alcohol. It was eerily silent on this wing, aside from the beeps of the monitors. As I entered, I saw mom sitting up in her bed with her legs dangling off the side. She was staring out of the large windows which encompassed most of the wall. The sun was shining brightly, giving her a better view of the garden outside.
"Mom?" I called out to her, feeling strange saying it again.
She turned slowly, letting me fully take in the sickness which was eating away at her body. Her body was nothing but skin and bones. She had a colorful scarf tied around her head to hide her balding scalp. She also had no hair on her face, no eyebrows or eyelashes. Her skin was almost an ash color, having lost its rosy tint she used to carry on her cheeks.
I remember mom being so beautiful, with long curly hair like my own. Only she knew how to maintain it. Her dark green eyes, which used to hold a shine, now looked so dead inside. The smile she gave me was clearly forced, only making this situation even more strained.
"Olive, is that you?" Her voice cracked as she spoke.
"Yup." I stepped further into the room.
"You've changed so much! You've grown into such a beautiful woman."