Page 140 of Saved By A Dark Billionaire
A very stupid and nervous, Past You
I remembered this afternoon all too well. I was surprised she had said yes, but I was so grateful. I had gotten her number on this day and somehow convinced her to go to dinner with me. Having her at Dad's for dinner made it so much better, even if it ended with me fighting with Dad. This night didn't end well as a whole. It was the night she pulled away emotionally from me. Fucking Janessa. It still makes me mad thinking about it.
Dear Future Me,
I fucking knew it! Lucas is not the guy for me. I fooled myself into thinking he was by the way he had accepted me after the fight. He was so happy and amazed by me. It made me feel so great. I wanted to allow him in, but when we got to his apartment, a woman was already there waiting for him.
I'm sure she was naked under her trench coat. I'm such an idiot for thinking this could be more. He's got a lot of options and I'm only one of them. He may have kicked her out, but that could be because he started the evening out with me. At least he doesn't switch girls through the night. He didn't chase after me or ask me to stay, so he must not care as much for me as I do him.
Thankfully, I ran into Leo, but he only confused me more. I can't let myself fall for Lucas, so for now on, Mom will be my priority. Dad called and told me she's sick. She's dying, and she's here in New York. I haven't seen her for 10 years and now she's here dying. What the hell am I supposed to do with that news? I have so many questions for her, so much I want to say. She owes me an explanation, so I'm going tomorrow to get her to give me one.
I won't let Lucas distract me. My focus will be school and seeing mom again. I could use some closure as to why she abandoned me. I hope she's willing and ready to answer my questions, because otherwise I'll leave without another word. If she can't answer me, then I'm not worth her time. She doesn't get to hear I love you or I forgive you until she explains herself.
What kind of mother leaves her child behind with a man who abused her? Did she not think Dad could have turned his anger to me instead?
I need answers, and I'll get them tomorrow.
A very confused and anxious, Past You
I had no idea she wanted me to chase after her. I thought she needed space, and I don't like to push. I respect people's wishes, more so since the incident with Francesca. If someone says no or to stop, I do, no matter what it pertains to. I continued reading about how things went with her mother. She spoke about Leo and his loss. Apparently, she regretted her decision to tell us her life story, but she was happy to help Leo.
She spoke about our sexcapades and how she was going to keep it strictly sex between us. I realized how stupid I was in not showing her how much I wanted to be serious with her. She wanted me, but she was scared of getting hurt and I could see why. I was reaching the day after her surgery now, after I'd opened up to her about what happened to me. I turned to find a page missing. It had been torn out, leaving behind a small bit of paper, sticking out like a sore thumb.Why'd she tear it out? Was it a mistake entry?I'll have to ask her about it later. For now, I'll enjoy all the other entries about me and how much she loves me.
Olive's P.O.V.
4"You need to sit, Rose. The doctor said to sit and elevate your feet. You're starting to swell around your ankles again," Lucas reminded me as I waddled around the flat, trying to get last-minute things together.
The bassinet was put together and sat beside the bed. The bottles were sanitized and put away already. All the clothes were washed, folded, and organized. My hospital bag was ready to go, along with Abi's. I packed her the cutest-take home outfit. I love all the frills, laces, and colors on little girl clothes. Of course, I bought a shit ton of bows that are way too large for her head, too. I have those neatly organized as well. I still feel like I'm forgetting or missing something, but I'm unsure what.
Daisy had my baby brother a few months ago, and according to Joe, everything is still going well. It made me wonder if Dad had changed, but then I remembered he’s Dad, and it's only a matter of time until his ugliness resurfaces. I hope Daisy is smart enough to get away when it does. Joe gave her my number again for me. Maybe this time, she'll save it and use it.
I felt another cramp coming, causing me to stop and lean against the closest thing around me. I gripped the edge of the table as I let it pass. If these Braxton Hicks contractions were any indication of how painful labor would be, I'll die.Definitelygettinganepidural. I mean, it's got to be painful if any woman is willing to stick a giant needle in their back to stop feeling labor pains.
"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, placing his hands on my sides to steady me. "Have you been timing it?" Lucas has been reading every, and any, labor book he could find. At this point I think he knows more about it than I do. His eyes held mine with both concern and excitement. I know he can't wait for Abi to be born and we're only a few days away now.
"No, I'm sure it's Braxton Hicks again."
"You never know, Rose. You should always time them." I think he wanted it to be labor already.
"Okay, I will." I smiled at him, nodding my head, stepping away from the table since the pain had passed.
I let him guide me to the couch and sit me down. He lifted my feet, placing pillows under them to keep them elevated. All throughout this pregnancy, he has been taking great care of me. He's gone to every doctor's appointment, reminded me of my prenatal vitamins, bought all the food I crave, no matter how crazy or how late in the night it was. If I craved it, he'd make it appear before me. He refuses to let me squat down or reach for something too high.He's my perfect man.
As I watched TV, another wave of pain rolled over me, causing me to clutch the edge of the couch cushion. Lucas was by my side in an instant again, taking my hand and eyeing me with worry. Once it passed, I saw him log the time on his phone. Our routine continued until; eventually, I knew it wasn't Braxton Hicks anymore. The pain was actual labor!Our Abi is coming today!I've never felt so nervous and so excited at once. Knowing our Abi would be in our arms in the next 24 hours was unbelievable. We'll finally see her face, feel her skin, touch her hand. I'm excited to see what her hair will look like, what shade her skin will be, and what I can't see on an ultrasound.
"Come on, Rose. It's time to go to the hospital."
Lucas helped me up, grabbing everything we needed. He rushed around the room like a maniac. He was excited, but worried for me. He hates to see me in pain, andfuck meare contractions painful. It feels like someone has their hands around my uterus and is squeezing it with all their might. I grunted as I tried not to yell when another stronger contraction hit.
Lucas drove carefully, as always, but he did so quickly. He had a wheelchair brought out to meet us, so I wouldn't have to walk in. The contractions were only three minutes apart now and felt like they lasted an eternity. I gripped onto the arms of the wheelchair as I bit my tongue, trying not to make a sound.
"You're doing so well, Rose. Remember to breathe," Lucas encouraged me, making me realize I was actually holding my breath. I closed my eyes and focused on taking deep, clear breaths. It helped a bit, giving me something to focus on aside from the pain. The nurse set an IV drip once we got to a room. She asked if I'd like an epidural and I immediately yelled yes. Lucas tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help the smirk.
"I'm so sorry, Rose. I don't mean to laugh at your pain. You scared the nurse with your tone," he chuckled. I knew he wasn't laughing at me.
He kept me distracted by talking about things that would excite me. We talked about our wedding, our honeymoon, and my job prospects. I'd been offered a job at a few of the places I'd interviewed. My worries about not being hired because I'll be a mom were unfounded. They didn't care. They only cared about my work ethic, my ability, and my degree. I checked those boxes for a lot of places.
We were weighing my options when I felt a trickle of water between my legs. It was like a leaky faucet had opened up between my legs. The nurse came in and checked me and I was at six centimeters now. Four more until it's time to push. My contractions only intensified after my water broke. They'd placed a towel between my legs to keep me from getting too wet as my water continued to leak out of me. It definitely wasn't like the movies, where it looks like a large water bottle popped. It was slow and constant, and frankly, a bit annoying.
