Page 134 of Saved By A Dark Billionaire
"It's more than okay. Thank you, Red."
"Great, so tell me what's wrong?"
"Nothing." He shook his head, plastering an all too fake smile.
"Ian," I used a stern, warning voice, calling bullshit.
"I had always imagined finding you and reconnecting. I imagined winning your heart over and being the one to ask you to marry me. I found you a few months too late. I've always loved you, Red, as more than just your best friend. I still do." His confession was more than I was expecting, and it tore my heart right down the middle. He loved me in high school, too. I felt stupid for having held back my feelings, but I am glad I did. I wouldn't be where I am right now if I hadn't. Lucas is everything to me, and I would gladly repeat all the horrible things in my life if it's how I get to Lucas.
"I'm sorry, Ian. I had no idea you felt this way." I sighed, looking up at the stars with him. "I loved you very much in high school—as more than just friends. I never thought you would feel the same way about me. You were the only friend I had, and I didn't want to lose you, so I never told you how I felt. I am sorry my dad kept us apart. Things would have been different if he hadn’t, I’m sure. I understand if you want to distance yourself from me again." It would hurt, but I would understand it.
"No, Red, I never want to lose you again. I'm still your best friend. I have to get over this heartbreak and the fantasy I had in my head of you and I. I am happy for you, I mean it. You deserve all the happiness in the world, Red. You've been through so much shit."
"Thank you, Ian." I felt a wave of relief, knowing he didn't want to leave me again. I had missed him greatly and it would have hurt to lose him again. Our friendship has always meant so much to me. I am glad he feels the same way.
Goodbye to a future that could have been.
Chapter 47
Olive’s P.O.V.
“Are you okay, my Rose?” Lucas asked as we finished cleaning up the place. Everyone was long gone now, but the evening was spectacular.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking,” I answered, grabbing a cup off the coffee table which had only been half drunk. The marshmallows had disappeared in the heat of the coco, leaving this sort of foam at the top.
“What about?” He asked, taking the cup from my hands and washing it.
“I think I need to read Ian’s letters,” I admitted, biting at my cheek. “I need to know what he said.” Lucas went silent, which only made me nervous. He turned the sink off, facing me. He dried his hands as he held my gaze. When he approached me, his eyes softened, feeling sympathy for me. Lucas pulled me into a tight hug, kissing my forehead.
“I’ll go see my mom for a little while. I am sure she’s still awake. Text me when you’re done,” he said, letting me go.
“You don’t have to leave.” He shook his head no at me before speaking.
“You should read them alone, Rose. I don’t want you feeling the need to hold back on your emotions because you’re worried about what I’ll think. I love you, my Rose. You do what you need to, and call me when you’re done. I’ll come running,” he promised.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Lucas left me shortly after, grabbing the gift he still hadn’t given his mother. It was late, around 10 o'clock now, but his mother was still awake and expecting him. I knew he would be fine, and I appreciated him giving me privacy for this, even if I didn’t want him to go. He’s right, I would hold back if he were around.
Taking a deep breath, I dug around for the box full of red envelopes Ian had given me last month. I had stuffed it deep in my closet, too scared to read them. Now it’s time, we’ve said our goodbyes, and admitted our past feelings. It’s time to get this over with and move on. There’s a need deep inside me to close this chapter of my life, to know exactly what he said to me in those letters. What could have been if I would have gotten them. I know it will hurt, it will tear me apart to think about, but I need to know. I need to know how he felt all those years.
**Song Suggestion: “Closure” by Hayd**
I grabbed the first letter I saw, not caring about reading them in order. I opened it slowly, feeling the sadness starting to well inside me already. As usual, Ian’s penmanship was impeccably beautiful. I was always surprised by how neatly he wrote. His hand writing was always better than mine.
Dearest Red,
I can't believe it's been two months since I moved away now. It feels like yesterday we were laughing and talking for hours on end. I miss you so much!
I miss your smile, your laugh, and your sense of humor. I miss our inside jokes and our late-night conversations on my roof, and our favorite hang-out spot.
I also miss our adventures together. We've been through so much together, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I hope you have found someone to help you through the bad times. I worry about you being alone, Red.
I know I'm not the only one who misses you. My mom and dad miss you, too. I know you miss them, too. Having you in our house only made it so much better. Life feels so different without you by my side.
I hope to get a letter from you soon. I plan to return one day, so don’t forget about me, Red. Until then, know I'm thinking of you always.
Love,
