Page 100 of Finding Us
“Fuck, Red,” I whisper, rubbing the heal of my palm over the ache that’s formed in my chest. Did she stay up all night making these?
I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I need to make things right between us.
I lean against the counter once I’ve made my coffee, taking a small sip. Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach for my phone.
Wolf: I can’t even put into words how appreciative I am for what you have done for Blake. He’s going to be so happy when he wakes. Thank you.
There is so much more I want to add, but I’d rather say those things to her in person. I’m not expecting a reply, but one comes through.
Red: You’re welcome. I already had everything here anyway. Wish him a happy birthday from me.
Wolf: Do you want to come up and watch him open his presents when he wakes?
I hold my breath as I wait for her answer.
Red: I’m sorry, I can’t.
She can’t, or doesn’t want to?
Wolf: Okay. I got your key … does that mean you can no longer watch Blake on Monday’s and Wednesday’s?
Red: You still want me to?
Wolf: Of course. He loves those days with you.
Red: I just thought after yesterday …
Wolf: Babe. Fuck, I don’t want you to ever think that. You mean the world to us, I’m so sorry for the way I acted yesterday, my actions had more to do with me, not you. And I’d hate for you to think I don’t trust you around my son, because I do. He’s lucky to have someone like you in his life … we both are.
I stand there waiting for her reply, but it never comes.
Chapter27
Mason
Saturday couldn’t have rolled around fast enough. The last two days have been hell without Red. After ghosting my last text Thursday morning, I finally got a message back from her later that day.
Red: Would it be okay if I had a quick facetime with Blake?
Even though it wasn’t what I was expecting, of course, I let her. I even stood off to the side, creeping in the background, so I could get a glimpse of her beautiful face. Like me, she looked tired; it made me wonder if she was struggling with her sleep too. She had some light make-up on to cover the scratches on her face, but they were still visible. She smiled throughout their entire exchange, but the sadness in her baby blues was unmissable.
It hurt my fucking heart to see her, not knowing if things will ever be right between us again. Even now as I pull up to Timezone with my son on the back of my bike, my stomach is in knots. Connor told me him and Red were going to be here, and that they’d be picking up the birthday cake on the way. I only hope she gives me a chance to talk to her. Nothing deep obviously—it’s Blake’s birthday party—but I’ll take any glimmer of hope she’s willing to offer.
I don’t want to lose her over this.
It took me twenty-eight years to find her, so I’m not walking away without a fight. I’ll wait for-fucking-ever if need be, as long as we’re back together in the end. Hopefully it doesn’t take that long. It’s only been a few days, and I already miss her like crazy.
We secured a back room for the party, so we head that way after entering the building. Jacinta organised all the finer details, but I do know once the kids have eaten, they’ll get preloaded cards so they can play the arcade games.
We’re early, so I’m not expecting anyone else to be here yet. You can imagine my surprise when we enter the party room and I find Red darting around getting everything set up for Blake’s arrival. My heart starts to hammer in my chest as soon as I see her. She looks stunning like always.
“Jazzie!” Blake squeals, dropping my hand and running straight for her.
She crouches down and catches him when he leaps into her arms. The genuine happiness I see on her face warms my heart. Will I get the same look when her attention turns to me? She wraps him tight, peppering kisses all over his face.Fuck, I want some of those kisses too.
“I’ve missed you,” she says. “Are you excited about your party today?”
Has she missed me too?
