Page 17 of Finding Us
Having him around is fun. I can’t say I’m reliving my own childhood, more like I’m experiencing it for the first time, like Blake is.
I had an abundance of toys growing up, but I wasn’t allowed to make noise or mess—it used to set my father off. Instead, I’d play quietly in my room so as not to rock the boat.
I sit at my desk, going over Bridge’s books. Money is tight right now, and since I virtually gave my life savings to Annalise, I’m currently in the process of selling my house and downsizing. Although it was supposed to be our forever home, it’s way too big for the two of us anyway. My intention is to invest the extra money I obtain from the sale, then what I earn from that will be directed back into Bridge. We receive government funding at the soup kitchen, but with the homeless population continually growing, it’s not enough.
I donate a portion of my weekly pay cheque, and it helps, but I have Blake to consider now, so I’m mindful. As much as I hated to do it, selling my house was the best option I could come up with.
I promised Betty, the founder of Bridge, I’d keep this place running if anything ever happened to her—it’s a promise I intend to keep. I know how important this place is and all the good it does for the less fortunate. I vowed to do whatever was needed to keep her dream alive. Bridge was her life’s work … it’s now become mine.
Without our assistance, the homeless would be forced to beg for food, or worse, resort to eating scraps from the bin.
Bridge opens every evening to distribute a hot meal to all those in need. We don’t discriminate … everyone is welcome. We also provide them with wrapped sandwiches, a piece of fruit, and a bottle of water when they leave. It’s not as much as we would like to give, but it helps get them through to the following night. During the hotter months we distribute extra water, and in winter, warm jackets and blankets. Betty’s dream was to be able to provide three meals a day, as well as services to help these people get back on their feet and find work. Hopefully, one day, I can realise that dream for her.
I’m lucky I have a horde of volunteers on my side. I wouldn’t be able to do this without them.
I met Betty when I was fourteen. I’d been living on the streets for close to a year by that point. When my mother left, I became my father’s full-time punching bag … so leaving was the safest option. Betty took me in and treated me like one of her own, so I owe her everything. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her.
She had the biggest heart and devoted her entire adult life to helping others. She was eighty-three years old when she passed suddenly. Her loss was felt by many, especially me. I was naïve, I guess, and expected she would live forever. She was all the family I had left.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I close the ledger I’ve been studying for the past hour and rub the back of my neck. Staring at the damn figures won’t make the extra money needed magically appear. I fix my attention on Blake as he concentrates on the game he’s playing. He is making the cutest faces, and even with a sprained wrist, he’s managing. My heart is so full of love for him. I resent missing the first years of his life, but I’m thankful I have him now. I have a lifetime to make up for what we lost.
Leaning back in my chair, I stretch my arms above my head, and out of nowhere, the little spitfire I encountered outside the gym pops into my mind. I feel a smile spread across my face as I relive our encounter. Damn she was fine, and that mouth of hers … it’s a pity she hadn’t been forthcoming with her name because I’ll probably never see her again, which is a damn shame.
I let out a groan when my dick twitches behind the zipper of my trousers. Fuck, I really need to get laid.
“Are you almost done with your game, buddy? It’s time to leave.”
“I’m nearly done.”
It’s getting late; I need to get him home and bathed. We have an early start in the morning, and I’ve got more packing to do before I go to bed.
As we are leaving Bridge, Blake reaches for my hand. That feeling of his tiny fingers wrapped in mine will never get old. I know it’s something that won’t last, he’ll outgrow it soon enough, so I’m going to enjoy it while I still can. I never held my own father’s hand.
“Dad,” Blake says, looking up at me.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Do we really have to move?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Why?”
“I told you; we’re downsizing. We’re moving into that apartment we looked at … the one in Connor’s building. It will be fun living near Connor, yeah?”
“I guess,” he says with a shrug. “But I like it where we are now.”
I stop walking and crouch down so I’m eye level with him. The only stability this poor kid has had is with me. I hate upending is life like this, but I’m sure he’ll get used to our new place soon enough.
“Listen, the only reason I’m selling this house is because Bridge needs more money so we can continue to feed all the people that come here. You want to help them, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Good boy,” I say, ruffling his hair. “We have more than we need, so sharing it with the less fortunate is the right thing to do. Our new place is still going to be great, don’t worry about that.”
Blake dips his face, staring down at his sneakers. “Are you still going to keep me? I don’t want to go back to Annalise’s … I like being with you.”
Fuck.That is the last thing I want him to worry about. “I like being with you too. You don’t have to worry about that, okay?” I say, placing my hand under his chin and tilting his eyes back to mine. When I see them glistening with unshed tears, I wrap his tiny body in my arms. “You never have to go back there, I promise.” I draw back, swiping my thumbs over his cheeks to remove his tears. It breaks my heart to see him cry. I don’t want him to ever know the truth of what his mother did, so I go with the kid-friendly version. “You know how Uncle Connor works with the police?” He nods his head. “He got some special papers drawn up that said you were going to live with me permanently, and Annalise signed them. That means it’s going to be you and me forever so I don’t want you to ever have to worry about that, okay?”
