Page 111 of Finding Us
It takes a second, but when his eyes widen, he realises. “Do you think she’s buried under here?”
I don’t even want to contemplate that, but it’s definitely a possibility. I bend, placing my hands on my knees. I’m suddenly finding it hard to breathe. Although in my heart I’ve always believed there was more to her disappearance, there were times, especially when I was living on the streets, that I resented her for leaving me. For not taking me with her.
Connor takes a step away from me and pulls out his phone. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“Calling in a forensics team.”
Chapter30
Jacinta
Iclutch the jar of red jellybeans in my hands to my chest as I step off the lift. I bought these when I found out about Mason’s father’s passing. I know they didn’t have a great relationship, but I still felt like I needed to acknowledge it. Flowers just didn’t seem like an appropriate thing to buy for such a manly man like Mason.
Blake is downstairs in our apartment with my brother and Cassie. Connor offered to pick him up from school. He gave me a brief rundown on what happened at Mason’s father’s house, and said he was pretty fucked up by the time they left. I felt compelled to come up here. Being alone is maybe what he wants, but I feel the need to check on him nevertheless.
When I reach his apartment, I come to a stop. Will he even want to see me?
Tucking the jar under my arm, I raise my hand and knock. A minute or so passes with no answer. I lift my arm for a second time, but think better of it. If he wants to be alone, I need to respect that.
I bend over, placing the jar by the door, but as I do, it swings open. I tilt my head back and look up, seeing Mason smirking down at me.
My eyes dart down, and that’s when I realise my face is only inches away from his crotch. “Did you come here to see me?” he asks. “Or to stare at my dick?”
I grab the jar and straighten. Everything in me wants to reply with something sarcastic, but I push that feeling down. He’s going through a lot right now. Instead, I hold out the jar. “I just came up here to say sorry for your loss.”
“My loss?” he quips. Now that I’m standing upright, I can smell the alcohol on his breath. “You really think that I—or this crazy fucking world we live in—is at a loss now that that motherfucker is dead?”
“I … ah—”
“You disappoint me, Red. I thought you of all people would understand. We’d all be better off if people like your father …like mine, no longer existed.”
I glance down at my feet because he’s one hundred percent right. “Yes, we would be,” I whisper.
“Then why are you sorry?”
I lift one shoulder. “It just felt like the right thing to say. I’m sure in some way you’re hurting.”
He reaches out, gently tilting my face back to meet his. “Not because of him. I’m not sorry he’s dead, I’m glad. Wouldn’t you feel safer—relieved even—if you knew your father was no longer able to inflict pain on others?”
“Yes,” I answer as tears sting the back of my eyes.
“Then for once we can actually agree on something.”
“Is there anything I can do for you? Are you hungry? Can I make you something to eat?” Drinking on an empty stomach can’t be good for him.
“I’m hungry, Red, but not for food.” I have to look away when he says that, because the intensity of his stare tells me exactly what he’s hungry for …me.“I’ve missed this,” he mutters, skating his knuckle over my flushed cheek. “I’ve missed everything about you, Jacinta.”
I’ve missed him too, so damn much, but I’m still apprehensive about us. His violent outburst is still weighing heavily on my mind. That side of him frightens me.
My eyes move back to his, and the smugness that was there a moment ago is now replaced with sorrow, and it pains me to see him like this. “Do you feel like some company?” I ask, because I don’t want to leave him on his own. Especially if he’s planning on drinking his troubles away.
“What kind of company are you offering?” I look away. “Right, I forgot, we can’t do that since you’ve decided you no longer want me.”
The venom in his voice has my gaze snapping back to him. “I never said that … what I said was I needed space.”
“From me?”
“You scared me when you put your fist through the wall.”
