Page 104 of Finding Us
God, I hate this. Everything in me wants to reach out and hug him. This sad and tortured side is too much. It’s exactly why I need to stay away. It is clouding my judgment.
“Okay.”
When Blake lets me go and moves inside my apartment, Mason passes me his backpack. “If you need me, you have my number.” I nod my head and take a step back. “Goodbye, Red.” Why do those words set off a panic inside me?
“Bye.”
The dejected look he gives me before he turns and walks away has tears stinging the back of my eyes. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but my future is on the line here, and if something positive can come from what my mother went through, it’s that I don’t make the same mistakes she did.
After I dropped Blake off at school, I came straight home and FaceTimed Cassie, bursting into tears the moment her face popped up on the screen. So, it didn’t really surprise me when she turned up at my doorstep late this afternoon. She’s awesome like that, and will be the perfect buffer when Mason arrives later to collect his son.
Blake is still a little wary with her, but the fact she’s my best friend helps. It also didn’t hurt that she arrived with half a suitcase full of birthday gifts for him.
“Do you like your presents?” Cassie asks. He’s sitting on the floor surrounded by toys, designer clothes, and some new video games she heard him mention on her last visit.
“Yes,” he answers, bowing his head. “Thank you.”
“Does this mean I get an invite to your birthday party next year?”
When he shrugs, I laugh. I hope I’m around for his next birthday; a lot can happen in a year. What if we can’t work through this? What if there’s another woman in the picture by then? That thought makes my stomach sink.
“You okay?” Cassie asks.
“Yeah,” I lie.
“Are you sure? Your face just dropped?”
“It’s nothing,” I answer, flicking my hand. She frowns, I can tell she doesn’t believe me, but thankfully, she lets it go. I’m getting way ahead of myself anyway. It’s only been five days.
By the time Mason arrives, Blake has already eaten dinner. I couldn’t bath him like I usually do, because I didn’t have his pyjamas here. I need to ask Mason to pack them next time. It’s a long day for him, with work and Bridge, so the less he has to do when he gets home, the better.
“Cassandra,” Mason says, when she answers the door. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“I flew here earlier today … my BFF needed me.”
I want to facepalm when she says that. His eyes immediately dart to me before he replies, “That was nice of you.”
“You know me,” she says, “I’m always looking out for my girl.”
“She’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to haveher.”
Mason dips his head, shoves his hands into his trouser pockets, and stares down at his feet. “Yeah,” is all he says. Did he feel lucky to have me to?
Cassie glances at me over her shoulder. “Now that daddio’s here to pick up his cute little mini-me, you should probably jump in the shower and get ready … it’s getting late.”
“You guys going somewhere?” he asks.
“Yes, we’re going out drinking and dancing … nothing like a fewcocktails to lift a girl’s spirit.”
The way she says cocktails implies so much.What the hell.By the time Mason’s gaze snaps to me, he’s frowning. He’s gone from looking miserable to livid. Does he think we’re going out looking to pick up? Because that’s the last thing on my mind. Despite our situation, my heart’s still his.
“Right, well I’d hate to hold you both up. Blake you ready? Grab your bag.”
I stand, suddenly feeling panicky. “I’ve got some leftovers from dinner if you’re hungry.”
“No thanks.”
