Page 76 of Finding Us
I dip my face. “It was a struggle to be in the same room and not be able to touch you.”
“So, you want to see more of me too?”
“Yes.”
“I know it’s going to affect my relationship with Connor—he’s my best friend—the only true friend I’ve had if I’m honest, so that’s going to suck, but you’re worth it.”
“Don’t worry about Connor. I’ll talk to him.”
I untangle my legs from his waist, and lower myself to my feet. That’s when I feel something running down my inner thigh. I look down, and Mason follows my line of sight. “Fuck,” he mumbles. “I didn’t wrap it. Shit, Jacinta, I’m so sorry.” That’s the first time he’s ever called me by my real name. He takes a step backwards, clutching his head in his hands. “This is what I mean, I can’t think straight when I’m around you.”
“It’s okay,” I say, trying to ease his panic. “I’m on birth control, and I’m guessing since you have a monk dick I don’t have to worry about an STD.”
“Monk dick,” he chuckles, stepping in and effortlessly scooping me into his arms, bridal style. “Let’s get you in the shower and cleaned up, so I can dirty you up again.”
I like the sound of that.
The way he takes me again in the shower is different to all the other times. He’s so loving and gentle that my head is spinning by the time we get out. Being with him on a more permanent basis goes against everything I believe in, but I want this.I want him.He’s everything I never knew I needed, and I only have to look at how he is with his son to know he’s nothing like the monster I grew up with.
“Here,” he says, getting one of his T-shirts out of his drawer and passing it to me. “You can sleep in this.”
As soon as he says that, the panic sets in. “I can’t stay.”
“What?”
“I … umm—” I turn my face away as heat flames my cheeks.
Mason steps up to me, sliding his arms around my waist. “If you’re worried about Connor, don’t be. He left with two women tonight. I doubt he’s even home. Tomorrow morning, we can face him together.”
“It’s not Connor I’m worried about.”
“Then why won’t you stay?”
“I have nightmares.”
“Is that why you always run off?” I nod. “Babe, they’re just dreams.”
“Mine aren’t. They’re really bad. Connor says I scream in my sleep.”
“And you think that would bother me?”
“I don’t want you to see me like that. It’s humiliating.”
“Red,” he says, cupping my face with his hands. “You’re staying. I don’t care if you have a nightmare. Everybody dreams.” He takes his T-shirt out of my hands, slipping it over my head. “Come.” He leads me towards the bed, and when he pulls back the covers, I reluctantly climb in. Once he slides in beside me, he pulls me into his arms, wrapping me up tight. “You are safe here with me.”
I nestle into his warmth and close my eyes, silently praying that tonight my past doesn’t come back to haunt me.
My eyes spring open as I sit up in bed; it’s dark, but when I take in my surroundings, the street light outside my bedroom window illuminates the space enough that I recognise my childhood bedroom—the one I lived in before I moved to Melbourne. Being back here instantly fills me with dread and has my heart rate kicking up a notch. I look down and see Annabelle, my baby doll, lying beside me, so I reach for her, cradling her to my chest for comfort.
Glancing over at the clock beside my bed, I see it’s 1.52 am. At first, I’m not sure what woke me, but then I hear it.
“Please don’t hurt me,” my mum pleads.
“Shut your fucking mouth.”Whack. “I said get on your knees. Get on your fucking knees!” my father bellows.Whack,whack.
A few seconds later I hear a loud thud, and I can only assume that my father managed to knock her off her feet. Although these are sounds I’m familiar with, the ferocity of her situation still makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Throwing back my covers, I tiptoe towards my bedroom door. Opening it slightly, I peek through the tiny gap, and see my parents down the end of the hallway. My mum is on her hands and knees, and her nightdress is pulled up around her waist. My dad is positioned behind her, his trousers are down, and I can see his bare backside.
