Page 10 of Impossible Bachelor (Bachelor Tower 2)
She doesn’t mean it. Her voice is missing its usual snark.
“That isn’t the direction I hoped we were headed.” I drop our bags and step in front of her, this time taking her hands in mine to prevent her from turning away again.
She sniffs, and I realize she’s not angry, she’s crying. Her very restrained version of crying. I pull her to my chest and hold her against me. If I could, I would battle her demons for her. I can’t do much for her, though, if she doesn’t let me in.
At first she stands stiffly as if I’m holding her against her will. Then, she puts her head on my shoulder and trembles against me. Without raising her head, she says, “I don’t have a quiet place. There is no thought that calms me or brings me peace. When I put everything else out of my head—all that’s left is every time I failed.”
I could love this woman. “No one is perfect, Kylie. We all make mistakes.”
“Yes, we do. I shouldn’t have come here today, Ben.”
“You didn’t fail in there. I did. I thought it would be good for you.”
“Because there’s something wrong with me?”
“No, because everyone feels better when they take a break, or at least take a breath.”
“I don’t take breaks.”
“But do you want to?”
She raises her head and looks me in the eye. “I’m not going back in there,” she asserts, pointing back in the yoga studio.
“I’m sure we wouldn’t be welcome.” I smile. Come on, Kylie. You know you can’t resist me.
Her expression lightens. “Technically you’re the one who got us thrown out.”
“Your fault for looking so good in those pants.”
She rolls her eyes but she’s smiling. “I thought the goal was to empty your mind.”
“It wasn’t my mind I was having trouble controlling.” I pull her closer, not at all embarrassed by my body’s reaction to her. I don’t like the idea of her with another man.
She tenses. “You’re wasting your time. There’s nowhere this can go.”
“It’s my time. I’m between projects, so I have more of it than usual.”
She sighs and steps out of my embrace. “See, I can’t understand that. I’d be worried about what I’m doing next.”
I nod. Another piece clicks into place. She’s not judging me as much as revealing her own inability to turn off. “You said you don’t have a happy place to go to when you close your eyes—let me help you find that place.”
She puts a hand on her hip. “Seriously? That’s quite a come-on line.”
I laugh. “Oh, we can have sex too. As much as you want—but that wasn’t the happy place I was referring to. I do like where your mind is, though.”
She picks up my bag and hands it to me by shoving it into my chest. “It’s time for me to get back to the office.”
“So, you don’t want to hear about what I imagined every time I closed my eyes?”
She grabs her bag and starts to walk off. I have every intention of following her, but I take a moment to appreciate the way her ass pumps up and down in those skintight yoga pants. A man must have invented that particular apparel, and I can’t imagine a way to improve it.
She stops and looks over her shoulder at me.
All I can do is smile and think—Damn. This is what I’m missing.
CHAPTER NINE
Kylie
“I went to yoga today with Ben,” I announce as I stroll into Penny’s apartment. It’s not technically a lie. Her head snaps around and her eyes go wide.
“No you didn’t.”
I love that Penny looks perfectly content. She’s made the apartment shine with little pieces of her own style. What she’s brought adds a warmth to the place as well as Dalton to his knees. I respect that.
“Ask Ben.” I pour myself some of Dalton’s best Scotch. I know it’s his best because I gave it to him. God, I am competitive. “During lunch today we met at a yoga studio. Hot yoga.”
“How did you like it?” She absolutely thinks I’m lying. Her question is more of a quiz than polite conversation.
“It was terrible.” I admit. “It was unbearably hot. We left early.”
“You got kicked out of yoga?” Penny laughs as she pats the spot on the couch next to her.
“It was a mutual decision to part ways,” I counter with a smile. “Technically Ben got us kicked out. But at least I can now say I tried yoga.”
“Did you try anything else with Ben?” She nudges me with her elbow and winks.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all. Ben lives in the same building. There is no way I’d mess around with him and have to be his neighbor.”
“So, you’re not seeing him?”
I take a swig of the Scotch. “I’m not seeing him.”
“You’re just having dinner with him and trying out yoga together.”
“Don’t make it into more than it is, Penny.”
My phone pings with a message from Ben.
Ben: Breakfast tomorrow morning?
I type: No. And show it to Penny. “See. There’s nothing there.”
Ben: Dinner tonight followed by wild sex and then breakfast?
I laugh and shake my head, then type: Still no.
“What did he say?” Penny leans in to read the text but I turn the phone away.
“Nothing. He likes to joke around.” I check the time on a clock on the wall. “Where’s Dalton?”
“Working late.” Penny looks suddenly evasive and that makes me nervous. She is a horrible liar. “He’s having trouble with a client.”
“Which one?”
Penny moves away and starts to set the table. “I don’t remember.”
I put my glass down and follow her. “Which one, Penny?”
She pushes some hair out of her face. “If I tell you, you can’t say anything to him. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“It’s a couple of his actual clients. He thinks someone in this building is pressuring them to drop him. Right now it’s not a big deal, but I can tell it bothers him. It’s not crushing his business or anything; it’s a matter of pride. It has me wondering if we should move, Kylie. I mean, is this place really worth it?”
My hands clench at my sides. “Does he have any idea who is going after him?”
Penny’s eyes widen. “Even if he did I wouldn’t tell you. Don’t get involved, Kylie. He can handle this. Maybe we don’t belong here anymore—any of us.”
And let them win? I don’t say it, but the question rocks through me.
“We should go back to talking about Ben. I think you two would be good together.” Her voice raises a few playful octaves. I let her off the hook and drop the conversation about Dalton because I know she won’t crack.
“Ben and I would be good, until we’re not,” I scoff. “Ben reminds me of dad. He doesn’t charge people for half of the work he does. He’s been between projects ever since I met him. That would drive me insane. I need structure. He and I would last a day.”
“But you do like him?”
“Mom liked Dad. She must have even loved him, but that wasn’t enough, was it?” I know this is a bad topic. Penny and I have never been able to see eye to eye on what happened between our parents. I think my father was selflessly selfish. It sounds like an impossible way to be, but he managed it. He’d give our last dollar away to someone who needed it, forgetting we needed it too. Penny admires that as heroic. No, heroic was our mother who found ways to pay the bills after he emptied her bank account. “They were two very different people. They had to know it wouldn’t work.”
“You are not Mom and Ben is not Dad.”
She doesn’t mean it as an insult, but it strikes me that way. I’ve always fallen miles short of my mother. She’s tougher than I am. Demands more of the people around her than I do. Her career trajectory blows mine out of the water. When Penny reminds me I am not our mother all I can think is . . . no, sadly I’m not.
We’re quiet
for a little while.
“Ben is a good guy, Kylie. Maybe you should let your heart take the lead—”
“Yeah, that works out well for me, doesn’t it?”
“This is different Kylie. You’re not a college kid anymore. Ben isn’t that guy either. Don’t make him pay for something he isn’t guilty of. It might be time to trust someone again.”
