Page 20 of The Design of Goodbye
“But Tanner iseverythingto me.”
“He cheated on you,” I said. She winced as I brushed through a large knot. “You shouldn’t want him back. Doesn’t the saying go ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’?”
She sobbed. “Maybe I’m not pretty enough.”
Her comment caught me off guard because I’d never seen her lacking in self-confidence. “You’re gorgeous.”
“Not as pretty as you.” She twisted around, pointing her finger at me like I was in trouble. “You have perfect hair, perfect skin, and a perfect body. You don’t even have to try, and you’re gorgeous.”
I swallowed because this conversation was quickly turning awkward. “I’m not perfect.”
“Well,” she started as she turned back around, “boys talk about you all the time.”
“That doesn’t mean—” I muttered, feeling massively uncomfortable. “No, they don’t.”
We sat in painful silence for the next few minutes as I worked on her hair. Once untangled, I braided it into two low ponytails to match mine.
“I need you to stay with me today,” she said.
My heart thudded. “I can’t. I have to meet Liam for tutoring in half an hour.”
And the tears were back.
“I’m your best friend, and Ineedyou. And instead,” she sobbed, “you’d rather spend your Saturday with Roo? Do I need to remind you my boyfriendcheatedon me?”
“No,” I whispered. “But I need to make up my assignments. I can come back after—”
“You don’t care about your math grade! Your dad is the one making you get tutored, and he’s not here. It’s not like he’ll find out.” She made an excellent point, so I wasn’t sure how to argue. “Text Roo and say an emergency came up. C’mon,” she continued, a grin blooming on her tear-streaked face, “we can go to the apple festival.”
My heart sank because she knew exactly how to coerce me into staying. I’d been sad all week about missing the first day of the apple festival, and now she’d given me a valid excuse to go. Sheneededme. I needed to go with her and support her, and if that meant going to the apple festival...
“I don’t have Liam’s number.”
“So? He’ll figure it out.”
I remembered last Saturday. How Liam had waited thirty minutes in the cold for me. Guilt filled me at the thought of him doing it again. How long would he wait today? An hour? Two?
I couldn’t do that to him.
“I can’t ditch him. It’s rude.”
“Wow,” she said harshly, jumping off her bed, “so you’ve hung out with him once and suddenly care about his feelings?”
Just because I tried to be indifferent to most things didn’t mean I was heartless.
“Don’t you want me to figure out why he missed all that school?” I tried.
“That’s not important right now. Look,” she started, “if you want to go, don’t let me stop you. I’ll text Claire, and she’ll go to the apple festival with me. She’ll leave swimming practice because she’s a real friend.”
Jules knew I was jealous of the friendship she had with Claire, and she loved to use it against me. I wished I was strong enough to stand up for myself, but I was too scared to lose the friendship I did have with Jules.
“You’re right,” I said. “It’ll be good for you. Let’s go.”
* * *
It was an unseasonably warm day for Michigan in October, and the apple festival was packed with excited locals and tourists. Watching people enjoy my favorite event of the year was something special. I only wished I was enjoying it, too.
Jules had invited Bruce and Spencer from the football team to come with us to make Tanner jealous. As soon as we’d arrived, Jules had latched onto Spencer. He had wavy black hair and ice-blue eyes and was our high school’s quarterback, even though he cared more for his truck than football. This meant I was left with Bruce, our high school fullback, who had a buzzcut, stubble on his face he called a beard, and walked around with a permanent smirk. He’d been trying to get with me since sophomore year, and I hated him. So far, today, I’d spent more time swatting his hands away from my hips and butt than anything else. If I hadn’t recognized the sadness Jules was trying to hide, I would’ve left ages ago.
