Page 28 of The Design of Goodbye
“In the lunchroom a few weeks ago. After Tanner slammed your table.”
“You saw that?”
“Everyone did.”
Redness tinted his cheeks. “They did?”
Nodding, I continued, “You grabbed something out of your backpack and put it in your mouth after you jumped. Drugs make you jumpy, too.”
The silence after my last statement went on so long I was certain he wasn’t going to speak again.
He cleared his throat, then said, “It was a mint.”
By the hesitation of his admission, mints held a deeper meaning to him. I believed him because I remembered our first meeting and how he’d smelled like Christmas. How he always did.
“Why were you having a mint?”
He fidgeted. “Because they help me.”
“How does a mint help you?”
He pointed to my food. “Are you going to eat?”
“What?”
“Because, if not, let’s get back to math.”
He couldn’t stop talking now. I wasfinallygetting somewhere.
“Tell me why mints help you first,” I insisted.
“No.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re the most closed-off person I know.”
“You don’tknowme.”
“I’m trying to.”
“No,” he said. “This feels like an interrogation.”
“It’s not.” It was. But there was no way I’d admit it. Then I’d never get answers. “It only seems like it because you refuse to open up about anything. You won’t tell me why you missed so much school. You won’t tell me why mints help you. Why won’t you tell me anything?”
Through clenched teeth, he said, “Because I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“We only met a few weeks ago. Did you really expect I’d open up that easily?”
“Kind of?” While I hadn’t expected him to open up as easily as Claire had thought, I didn’t think he’d bethisclosed off. “I thought you might need someone to talk to,” I lied, chest tightening with guilt.
“That’s the last thing I need.”
“Everyone talks about how you came back different after missing the end of junior year. People at school think you’re on drugs, went to juvie, or got arrested. That sounds like someone who needs to talk.”
“I haven’t heard those rumors, so thanks for informing me.”
“Don’t you want them to stop?”
